Snakes on a Plane

Snakes on a Plane **1/2

When "Snakes on a Plane" was first reported to be shooting, it created such a strange frenzy on the internet. People were fascinated, and obsessed with this movie which describes it's entire plot in the title. After all, based on the title, it's hard to not understand what the movie's about. There are snakes. . . and they are on a plane. And so, the internet became stuffed with various parodies, including fake trailers, and pictures of Samuel L. Jackson shouting-"There are snakes on this motherfu**ing plane!" And this was all before a single still from the film was even released to the public. After seeing all the press released by the public ages before the film even comes out, New Line Cinemas even reshoot parts of the movie, taking it from the PG-13 rating that it was sure to get, and making an R one, for the fans. And to be even more kind, they even rewrote part of it to include Samuel L. Jackson using the line that made the film so famous to begin with. And so, come the night before its release one week ago, there were the special 10PM screenings, and all the die hard fans of this movie that was never even released packed the theatres, prepared to laugh at what promised to be one of the worst good movies in years. And now, late, I finally got to see it and. . .

It turned out to be just another standard thriller movie.

I walked into "Snakes on a Plane" expecting a grand time. Something that doesn't take itself seriously, with lame special effects, wooden acting, all leading up to that moment where Jackson finally delivers the best line-"Enough is enough. I want these motherfu**king snakes off this motherfu**ing plane!" And the movie delivers all of that, but halfway through you realize to yourself "Hey wait a minute. There are snakes. . . and they are on this plane. . . now what?" There are only so many ways for a snake to bit a human, and there are only so many ways for a human to kill a snake, and after sometime, you've really had enough of these snakes, and this movie.

Jackson plays FBI agent Neville Flynn, who just found Sean Jones almost killed by the henchmen of Eddie Kim. The reason why they are after him is being Sean ended up witnessing one of Eddie Kim's hits, and now Flynn has to take Sean from Hawaii to Los Angeles, so that Sean can testify against the bad man. And so they board Flight 121 to LA, with a colorful group of characters. However, Eddie Kim's men planted a giant crate of snakes in the plane, and also filled the vents with a certain drug, which make the snakes go crazy. And so, the snakes begin to raid the plane, killing one of the pilots, and setting their sites on the passengers. And for added effect, they even trip the wires, shutting off almost all the lights, as well as the AC. And who can forget about that rain storm that the plane is passing through, over water. They can't land, because the only place to land is the ocean. And so Flynn leads the group of passengers to safety, while the police on the ground try to find out information about the snakes that are on the plane, so that when the plane lands, they can deliver the antidote to the passengers right away.

On the plane, there is quite a cast of characters. Not mentioning the flight attendents, there is a rapper who doesn't like it when people touch him, and his two bodyguards, one who is video game obsessed(played by Kenen Thompson, oddly enough.) There is Mercedes, the, what I am assuming, rich girl who carries around her dog in her purse. There is the newly married couple, the husband who is deathly scared of flying. Two little children who are flying for the first time by themselves. Etc, etc.

The problem is, I was expecting more B movie, but at times, I got the feeling as if they were really trying to make a serious thriller. Sure, the film has it's share of hokey lines like "God bless the Playstation," or "Get this snake off my ass!" And sure, the snakes look horribly fake, and at times we even get to see from their point of view(where everything is blurred and green.) But, at times, it doesn't seem to want to end. The audience wanted snakes, and they got snakes, but after a while, it seems to repeat itself. How many snakes can we see die? The snakes bit the humans in every possible place-the legs, the toes, the face, the eye, the crotch(for both male and female) to the point where they run out of places to attack, and after a while all the deaths were seen through the dark. I enjoyed "Snakes on a Plane" for what it was. A stupid, enjoyable, horror flick for the end of the summer. I was disappointed after all the hype. I was hoping it would be more of a parody of itself, and a reflection to old B horror movies of the past, but it ended up being just a standard thriller, nothing really special, and not deserving of what it was made out to be. However, I do give permission for everybody, even in the future, to make fun of the title. It's the best part of the entire movie. . .