The Last Mimzy

The Last Mimzy ***

Directed by Robert Shaye
Written by Bruce Joel Rubin and Toby Emmerich, based on the short story "Mimsy Were the Borogoves" written by Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore

Starring:
Chris O'Neil as Noah Wilder
Rhiannon Leigh Wryn as Emma Wilder
Joely Richardson as Jo Wilder
Timothy Hutton as David Wilder
Rainn Wilson as Larry White
Kathryn Hahn as Naomi Schwartz
Michael Clarke Duncan as Nathanial Broadman

93 Minutes(Rated PG for some thematic elements, mild peril and language.)
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"The Last Mimzy" is one creepy, strange, psyched out little movie that is being advertised to kids as if its the next "ET." And at times it does think its "ET," and during the credits I was surprised that I didn't see Steven Spielberg's name anyway on the producers list. But it's also one entertaining, intriguing film that is as fun as it is strange, and as inventive as it is sweet. For the first hour I was completely sucked into the brilliance that it had to offer, and then towards the end it does fall apart a little bit-turns a little too much like "ET." But it offers some quality messages-two of them, I counted. One of them not so subtle and the other one just floating on the top of the script, waiting to be plucked out and developed more. I do have a feeling that, like the story, both messages will go way over the children's head. If they could have found a way to market this to the adults as well, this could have been more of a success, because it really is very good.

"The Last Mimzy" tells the story of Noah and Emma, two ordinary brother and sister couple. Noah tries to fit in a lot at school, and even though he is the shorter, more puny kid complete with glasses, he has his friends and does decent in school. His sister Emma is younger, more naive and innocent. And then there are their parents, Jo and David. David is the type of father that works far more than he should, and Jo is the type of mother that worries far more than she should, but they end up being a little happy family. On spring vacation, Noah and Emma are on the beach when they discover some small box in the water. When they open it they find a pile of rocks, a large rectangle with green shapes in it, and a little stuffed bunny rabbit. Emma instantly clutches onto the rabbit who reveals that its name is Mimzy, but Noah is more interested in the mystery of the rocks-especially when they form this strange white vortex which dissolves Emma's fingers whenever she puts them inside. Suddenly strange things begin to happy to the both of them. Noah begins to make strange drawings which catch the attention of his science teacher, Larry White, as well as his New Age girlfriend Naomi Schwartz. Emma begins to float in the air, do the finger dissolving trick in front of the babysitter, while Noah ends up becoming a genius, designing a science experiment that some scientists are not able to create. They also catch the attention of the government when Noah causes a blackout that blacks out the entire state of Seattle, and agent Nathanial Broadman calls in his team to capture the family, bring them into a lab, and figure out exactly what is going on, as Noah and Emma try to uncover the secrets that Mimzy brought with her.

"The Last Mimzy" is very complex, so it wouldn't be advisable to bring the young ones. It does add a message at the end relating to keeping the environment clean, but there is also a message all about the war in Iraq. At least I was able to find something going on. It started during the very first scene. It's a school scene, and the kids have to go through a metal detector. One of the little girls keeps going off because she has new braces, and her line is, verbatim "It must be my new braces. I'm not a terrorist." I found that pretty interesting for one of the first lines. And then later on when Homeland Security comes around, captures the family because they think they might be terrorists, it is clear that Homeland Security is keeping Emma and Noah from allowing Mimzy to return home. It's almost like George Bush's plans with the terrorists are allowing global warming to take place because its not his main focus. It's a bit sketchy, but there were some strong anti-war lines that were very subtle, but clearly there. And they would have obviously not been in the original story from years ago, but it was still clever nonetheless. And it does have its "ET" moments, and towards the end it became a little irritating when the family is captued and the two kids have to sneak around to save Mimzy, but the first hour is intriguing enough to make the whole thing worthwhile.

The acting is fair all around, especially by the grownups. The kids are decent, and at times they ended up being a little hammy. Especially the little girl and her connection to the Mimzy doll. The parts where she wants to show her babysitting the trick with the dissolving fingers is almost creepy, and it isn't the innocent and sweet fun thing that the girl makes it out to be. The two best performances come from Timothy Hutton who is always great to watch, and Rainn Wilson. It was actually more fascinating to see Rainn Wilson in something like this. Wilson is known to being Dwight from TV's "The Office," a role that requires a lot of strong seriousness, suits, and almost little to no connection to women at all. here he openly kisses a girl, wears a Pink Floyd shirt, and wears panther skin boxer shorts. Quite a change. All in all, "The Last Mimzy" is a very enjoyable film. It's a thinking children's movie, for once. It's an odd one, and one that you have to seriously consider before bringing certain certain, but it is worth a watch at some point.

TMNT

TMNT ***

Directed by Kevin Munroe
Written by Kevin Munroe, based on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book & characters created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

Starring:
Chris Evans as Casey Jones (voice)
Sarah Michelle Gellar as April O'Neil (voice)
Mako as Master Splinter (voice)
Kevin Smith as Chef (voice)
Patrick Stewart as Max Winters (voice)
Laurence Fishburne as Narrator (voice)
Ziyi Zhang as Karai (voice)
Mitchell Whitfield as Donatello (voice)
James Arnold Taylor as Leonardo (voice)
Mikey Kelley as Michelangelo (voice)
Nolan North as Raphael/Nightwatcher (voice)
John Di Maggio as Colonel Santino (voice)
Paula Mattioli as General Serpiente (voice)
Kevin Michael Richardson as General Aquila (voice)
Fred Tatasciore as General Gato (voice)

85 Minutes(Rated PG for animated action violence, some scary cartoon images and mild language)
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To be honest, "TMNT" is great fun, and will please the long time fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as well as create new ones in the present day youth. Because let's face it-if you were a young boy at some point in your life, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a cartoon group that appealed to you. For some reason the action adventures of a group of turtle ninjas was simply cool. I've been told that I wasn't the biggest fan in the world, but I still recall having a t-shirt, and a video tape, and even a few action figures. So now, about a decade later, I have the chance to revisit this portion of my childhood, and I am happy to report that this is actually a decent picture. Kevin Munroe did the Turtles right, bringing a nice amount of darkness to the film, as well as not going the easy way out and dumbing it down with lame jokes and situations. This is dark, intense, and briefly gritty stuff considering its supposed to be for kids, but then again isn't the idea of a bunch of giant turtles living in the sewer systems with a giant rat as their mentor just a little dark?

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are named after the four Renaissance masters-Leonardo is the leader, then Raphael, Michelangelo, and Donatello. They are four brothers who all answer to the rule of Master Splinter, a giant rat that lives in the sewer pipes with them. Their only real constant with the outside world is through two humans-April O'Neil and her live-in boyfriend Casey Jones. The Turtles are going through a hard time when they should be happy. They have recently destroyed their most evil villain, Shredder, but Leonardo has been sent away by Splinter to complete his training as a leader. This does not fly over well with Raphael who claims that crime doesn't take a break, and why should Leonardo. April goes off to find Leonardo. Meanwhile, since they aren't fighting crime, the other turtles have kept themselves busy. Donatello works as a phone operator, and Michelangelo works for kids birthday parties, putting on a giant turtle mask to disguise himself. Raphael sleeps all day, but at night he becomes the Night watcher, a lone crime fighter. The trouble comes when April is hired by Max Winters to go around the world collecting various artifacts. Little does she know that Winters was a general back in the day, and his one desire was to rule the rule. However his quest turned him immortal, turned his soldiers into stone statues, and brought out thirteen horrible creatures into the world. Winters plans on bringing those monsters together again and become mortal again. At the same time the Turtles try to band together and fight, but the feud between the brothers rages on and it only gets in the way.

I could really see people(mainly males) of all ages enjoying "TMNT." Because not only would the older generation be interested to see how the Turtles have changed, but they would obviously bring the younger generation along to introduce them to the Turtles. This movie will bring people together, and father son bonding should go up. (Ha. . .ha. . .) And rightly so. There is some fun to be had watching this. It isn't perfect, and it doesn't exactly make you feel like a child again, but it is entertaining. It is a little bit intense, and this was a welcome surprise. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were never a colorful and bright and happy bunch-they were much darker. After all they lived in the sewer, came out only in the night, and fought crime. Munroe, in his script, has created a dark story, as well as rather intense battle scenes and even strife between the brothers that just made the story much more dense as opposed to the group getting together to fight the bad guys, and then the end. I also enjoyed how he spared us any introduction. In fact, the beginning of "TMNT" may seem like it was the second part of something. We have no idea how the Turtles came to be, and Leonardo is even gone already. It's like that old theory about how the middle half always has the most action because the middle half of a trilogy doesn't need to introduce and it doesn't need to conclude. "TMNT" works in that way to a point, as it doesn't introduce and it sucks you in the middle of the action from the first frame. And when there isn't hundreds of bad guys for the Turtles to destroy, they just end up fighting with each other to create constant conflict and constantly interesting scenes.

Lastly I will admire the decision to make this all in CGI. I am so grateful that they didn't go the new approach, and create a live action world but make the Turtles in 3-D, like they did in "Scooby-Doo." I never liked when they did that-it just seems so cheesy and fake. Through the CGI I was able to get invested into this brand new world. It isn't top notch animation but it is worthy enough. I did enjoy "TMNT," almost in a secret way. I know it sounds ridiculous-a seventeen year old person enjoying a movie designed for people much younger than him. But it reminded me of the past, and managed to bring back a franchise without dumbing it down or ruining it. I would welcome a sequel to this, and hopefully this could be the first in a brand new series of films for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Shooter

Shooter **

Directed by Antoine Fuqua
Written by Jonathan Lemkin, based on the novel "Point of Impact" written by Stephen Hunter

Starring:
Mark Wahlberg as Bob Lee Swagger
Michael Peña as Nick Memphis
Danny Glover as Colonel Isaac Johnson
Kate Mara as Sarah Fenn
Elias Koteas as Jack Payne
Rhona Mitra as Alourdes Galindo
Jonathan Walker as Louis Dobbler
Justin Louis as Howard Purnell
Tate Donovan as Russ Turner
Rade Serbedzija as Michael Sandor
Alan C. Peterson as Officer Stanley Timmons
Ned Beatty as Senator Charles F. Meachum
Lane Garrison as Donnie Fenn

124 Minutes(Rated R for strong graphic violence and some language.)
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In a nutshell, "Shooter" is straight action with a small attempt at a political message. It offers a little bit of story and some scenes of fantastic action, but mainly showcases bad acting and seems pointless in the end. I do like a good action flick once in a while, but only when it features a decent storyline. For example, I love "Face/Off." There is an action film with mind-blowing action sequences, and engaging storyline. But "Shooter" just has the former, and they aren't really mind blowing anyway. The occasional "Damn!" and "I can't believe he did that!" but those are just small moments, and doesn't offer the escapism that an action film needs. I found myself somewhat bored may times throughout the two hour running time-which seemed a bit more than needed. This is another installment in the Mark Wahlberg "I'm going to mess you up!" series, that was last seen in "Four Brothers." And there isn't a hint of the neat Wahlberg from "I Heart Huckabees" and "The Departed," and I can't imagine why he would want to be in this one dimensional drivel.

Wahlberg plays Bob Lee Swagger, a Marine shooter who is on a dangerous mission with his partner, Donnie. Donnie ends up being killed in the line of duty. Thirty six months later(why they just couldn't write three years later on the bottom of the screen is beyond me) he is living by himself, not on duty since the incident, with his dog in a mountain cabin. He is soon found by Colonel Isaac Johnson. The Colonel heard that Swagger is a great shooter, and wants his help in stopping the assassination of the president. Swagger manages to investigate the area against his wishes, and he figures out exactly how it would be done if the president were to be killed. He reports this, and believes that this was all done to PREVENT an assassination. However it was all a set up to kill an African diplomat, and soon Swagger finds himself being chased by the authorities when they think it was him that did it. When he first escapes he comes into contact with an FBI agent Nick Memphis who joins Swagger in the quest to clear his name. He also gets help from Donnie's widow, Sarah.

"Shooter" does have moments of political intrigue, and the best scenes go beyond action. The best scenes are where Swagger ends up showing his skill as a marksman, and describes exactly how one would shoot from a far distance-weather and location need to be put into play, as well as making sure the bullet is shot exactly at the moment where the target will be in a few seconds-since it takes that long for the bullet to actually travel that far. It is parts like these that put "Shooter" a small notch above something like "The Marine," but it still isn't anything special. Action fans will walk away from the theatre slightly satisfied, but "Shooter" never really sucks the viewer in like something like this needs to. Alongside Walhberg there is Michael Pena who hasn't blown me away since his work in "Crash," Kate Mara who is attractive enough to be the female lead-and the little clothing worn in parts helped this aspect at times. If the name doesn't seem familiar than you would know her as Heath Ledger's grown up daughter in "Brokeback Mountain." And then there is Danny Glover who is somewhat awful as the evil Colonial. Every time Glover spoke I would just cringe in pain because for some reason he puts on this awful lisp. I really don't know what he was thinking with that voice but he sounded like a little baby instead of a legendary actor. "Shooter" does have a great shootout at the end on atop of a snowy mountain, but a lot of it is very talky. It has some mild intelligence, but for the most part there is nothing here that is mandatory for the big screen, and it could probably be missed out on entirely.

Offside

Offside ***

Directed by Jafar Panahi
Written by Jafar Panahi and Shadmehr Rastin

Starring:
Sima Mobarak-Shahi as First Girl
Shayesteh Irani as Smoking Girl
Ayda Sadeqi as Soccer Girl
Golnaz Farmani as Girl with tchador
Mahnaz Zabihi as Female Soldier
Nazanin Sediq-zadeh as Young Girl
Safdar Samandar as Soldier from Azerbaijan
Mohammad Kheir-abadi as Soldier from Mashad
Masoud Kheymeh-kabood as Soldier from Tehran

93 Minutes(Rated PG for language throughout, and some thematic elements.)
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In Iran, woman are banned from men's sporting events.
In June of 2005, Iran defeated Bahrain to qualify for the World Cup.

These are the bits of information that are presented at the start of "Offside," and they begin a film that is so close to watching real life unfold that it is scary. Adding no music, and working with completely handheld camera-even managing to film on the day of the actual game-Jafar Panahi has crafted a story about being a die hard fan, women's rights, and going against the law into ninety minutes of extreme excitement. Taking a camera cue from the recent "Children of Men," we follow six girls as they try to defy the law and try to get into this soccer game that is so forbidden to them. One may ask: What could possibly be exciting about watching some girls get into a soccer game? The answer is simple-it is exciting if you put yourself into their shoes. This is a film that showcases a bunch of women breaking the law, even though the actual law itself seems pretty ridiculous. We do not know anything about these women-we don't even get their names. All we know is that they all share a common love and a common goal, and will do anything that they can to succeed.

One of the women tries to sneak in with a uniform of one of the policemen around. One of them tries to outrun the security in the front, even after paying a few hundred dollars to even get a ticket. However, one by one, all of them are captured and brought to a holding cell where the only way they could hear about the game is from one of the policeman who shouts everything that is happening from the small view that he gets. One of them asks to use the bathroom, and uses a fight that the policeman gets into with a bunch of kids to try and plot her escape. Eventually the girls are all led onto a bus that is leading them to prison, where they will have their guardians called and then will get picked up to go home. But on the way both the girls and the policemen all listen to the final moments of the game, and for one mere moments everybody-no matter what their gender-are connected by their love of soccer and their love of Iran, and there are no laws that could stop the happiness that everyone in the country shares.

Even though it gives us a very simple story, "Offside" manages to tell mammoth messages and strong concepts. This isn't just about sports, but its also about the right for woman to get the same rights. From afar it seems absurd-women not being able to attend a sporting event. And when asked the reason why the police just say because "women shouldn't have to hear all the swearing that the men yell out." Panahi doesn't have many edits, and during the more tense situations she just circles the girls, or pans slowly as they walk. They ponder, make quick decisions, and do what they feel is right over what they have to do. True to life, there is no background score that could distract the viewer, and the only sound is the music from the stadium or the roaring of the crowd. It is constantly engaging, and the fear that the viewer has for them carries the film from the first minute. Panahi is clearly against the women's sporting event laws, and I'm glad that the script didn"t make all the authorities bad men-many of them felt that the law was bad as well, and would often wish they could help the girls if their jobs weren't at stake. It makes the finale that much sweeter, to know that the law is disregarded for the moment. Iran doesn't win the World Cup, but they will qualify for it, which means that there will be another game to sneak into-but just for a minute all of that is ignored and there is a united people, which is all that is needed in the first place. "Offside" is a mini-masterpiece, and a film for art film fans and sports fans alike.

Reign Over Me

Reign Over Me ****

Directed by Mike Binder
Written by Mike Binder

Starring:
Adam Sandler as Charlie Fineman
Don Cheadle as Alan Johnson
Jada Pinkett Smith as Janeane Johnson
Liv Tyler as Angela Oakhurst
Saffron Burrows as Donna Remar
Donald Sutherland as Judge Raines
Robert Klein as Jonathan Timpleman
Melinda Dillon as Ginger Timpleman
Mike Binder as Bryan Sugarman

124 Minutes(Rated R for language and some sexual references.)
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Somehow, Mike Binder manages to create such wonderful films, giving us characters with so much depth and human character that it's almost as if we've known them for years and we only really see them for about two hours. With "The Upside of Anger" setting a bar high for a human drama, "Reign Over Me" manages to even exceed that bar, making me question Lions Gates decision to release Binder's other recent film "Man About Town" directly to video. I may swallow my pride and try to get my hand on that film now, which goes against my rule of never rating a film that came straight to video. But Binder may be worth breaking the rules for. "Reign Over Me" is the third film that I could think of that deals with 9/11, only instead of dealing with what happened during the event like in "United 93" and "World Trade Center", it deals with events that happened afterwards. And it manages to be mainstream without going over dramatic, or pulling us into over-sympathy mode. Binder avoids all the cliches that could have been used in a film like this and tells a human story of tragedy, friendship, and eternal love. And it's also very funny.

"Reign Over Me" is serious fare for Adam Sandler, going beyond the drama that he has done in "Punch Drunk Love" and "Spanglish" and delivers his most intense work. Sandler is phenomenal, and gives a performance that is an early contender for Best Actor at the Oscars next year. Sandler plays Charlie Fineman, a former dentist who now wanders the streets of Manhattan on his electric scooter, buys hardware equipment to redo his kitchen over and over again, or sits on his couch playing video games and listening to music. We learn what happened to Charlie through the eyes of Alan Johnson, a current dentist who went to dental school with Charlie. Charlie lost his wife, three young daughters, and family dog in a plane crash on September 11th, and now he has lost his will to go on. He wants to keep to himself, and ignores the help that is offered to him by his mother and father in law Jonathan and Ginger Templeman. Charlie quit his job and lives off the money that he got from the government after the incident. Alan runs into Charlie and the two start a strange friendship. Charlie trusts Alan, mostly because Alan doesn't know Charlie's family, and Charlie is able to just be how he wants. However Alan tries to get his friend help, and when the two aren't hanging out watching movies, playing video games, or just riding around town, Alan tries to find Charlie mental help and enlists in his friend Angela to do that job. At the same time Alan is trying to avoid the advances of Donna Remar, a patient who tries to have an affair with him, and then threatens to sue the practice when he rejects her.

'Reign Over Me" is part drama, part comedy, and part buddy flick, and it weaves each one of these genres without seeming like a mess. Binder treats the scenes and conversations between Alan and Charlie as if we were watching an actual friendship emerge, giving them something similar to privacy. Binder circles the two of them as they discuss things, and Sandler and Cheadle play it naturally as if the two of them were becoming friends at the same time. The score by Rolfe Kent also helps matters, giving a jazzy type feel similar to the score in "Sideways." It is obviously not all laughs, but Binder manages to throw in some small comedy bits here and there to ease the tension, and just point out that life isn't all drama-there are some funny parts too. Cheadle delivers good work here as usual, and there is fine background work from the eye candy of the cast, Liv Tyler and Saffron Burrows. As usual, Mike Binder casts himself in the role that nobody is really supposed to like, which he also did in "The Upside of Anger." He is always the lowest of the low, the little slimy guy that nobody likes-I wonder if that is supposed to reflect him as a person as well.

I suppose one could question if Sandler was the right person for the role. After all, it's hard to imagine the guy who played "Billy Madison" playing a role where he lost his family in 9/11. But Sandler does everything pitch perfectly, capturing the audience with a certain amount of charisma that one doesn't see often. When the Charlie character finally breaks down and tells Alan his story, you are moved almost to tears. Binder centers Sandler in the center of the frame, so there is nowhere to look but right into his eyes. Sandler manages to have rare command of the audience and this proves even further that he is capable to more than just crude humor-there was even a touch of this in "Click" last June. I never write off any 9/11 films just because they are about 9/11, and nobody else should either. "Reign Over Me" is a film that could probably work if it was just a regular plane crash and not September 11th, but it's still nice to see something about the aftermath as opposed to during. It has also made me think about various other ideas that could be done about the done, and I have managed to formulate two of them since seeing this. "Reign Over Me" culminates with a song by The Who, covered by Pearl Jam, which inspired the title, and it manages to make many of the scenes incredibly moving even beyond the acting. I was seriously touched by "Reign Over Me." It is a film that everyone should give a chance to, and the first great American film of 2007.

The Prisoner or: How I Planned to Kill Tony Blair

The Prisoner or: How I Planned to Kill Tony Blair ***

Directed by Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker

Starring:

Yunis Khatayer Abbas as Himself

72 Minutes(Rated PG-13 for some strong language and mature thematic elements.)

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I will admit that when it comes to documentaries, it is the last genre that I will go and see, especially in a theatre. The thing is is that most documentaries, while fascinating and interesting, are never really worthwhile of seeing on a big screen with a lot of people. A documentary is usually worthy of watching at home, on a small screen where a lot of money wasn't spent. It isn't like "300" which needs to be seen on a big screen to even be effective at all. But there was something about "The Prisoner or: How I Planned to Kill Tony Blair," (which will, from this point on, be referred to simply as "The Prisoner,") that made me want to take the time to see this on the big screen. It was just the premise, the concept of it. It had a "Road to Guantanamo" feel, telling the story of a person that did not deserve to be treated the way he did. It is something about that story that just makes me want to get their perspective, for if I do decide to skip it in the theatres I will probably forget it exists long before the DVD comes out.

"The Prisoner" tells the story of Yunis Khatayer Abbas, who film makers Petra Epperlein and Michael Tucker met while they were filming their first documentary "Gunner Palace," (which I also saw in the theatre, oddly enough). Yunis Abbas was a journalist who lived in Baghdad. However one night his house was broken into by American soldiers who detained him and three of his brothers, sending him away to Abu Ghraib Prison where he was charged with plotting the assassination of Tony Blair. Cameraman Michael Tucker was off shooting "Gunner Palace" when this happened, and managed to get the ambush on camera which is where Yunis began to interest him. Of course this concept of wanting to kill Tony Blair is comical to Yunis-he never had any desire to kill him and he wasn't starting now. But so begins the long interview process, where the Americans ask him strange questions about his favorite color, his musical taste, favorite sex asks, and if he likes Harrison Ford. Yunis also manages to form a friendship with one of the guards, who he dubs "The Good Solider." "The Prisoner" weaves interviews with Yunis, camera footage, home movies, and original animation to tell the tale of this innocent and ordinary man who is forced into a nightmare that he does not deserve.

It is almost painful to watch parts of "The Prisoner." Yunis gets thrown into this horror story, accused of being a terrorist and a bad man just because of what he looked like and where he lived. But he is such a kind man, witty, and able to smile in the face of a terrible situation. To show what a kind person he is, when everything is finished and Yunis and his brothers are allowed to go home, the film ends with home movie footage of Yunis and his family dancing, smiling, and just being happy that they could all be together. It is both a tragic story and one full of hope that is worth watching. It ends up giving a new perspective of everything that happens over there-and reminds you that not everybody is bad just because of their ethnicity, skin color, or just where they live. Out of the documentaries out there, "The Prisoner" may be one of the only ones that I have seen, but it is probably the best one out there.

The Page Turner

The Page Turner **1/2

Directed by Denis Dercourt
Written by Denis Dercourt and Jacques Sotty

Starring:
Catherine Frot as Ariane Fouchécourt
Deborah Francois as Mélanie Prouvost
Pascal Greggory as Jean Fouchécourt
Xavier De Guillebon as Laurent
Christine Citti as Madame Prouvost
Clotilde Mollet as Virginie

85 Minutes(Not Rated-Brief Nudity and Violence, Adult Themes)
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One thing is for certain, and that is that "The Page Turner" is not dull at all. It is interesting, constantly engaging, with very good performances and a couple of intriguing turns along the way. The fatal flaw, and the one that makes it not worthy of a recommendation, is that there is no real reason for everything that happens to happen, and the reason that is given at the start doesn't seem to justify the extreme lengths at which our main character goes to get her revenge. And at this "The Page Turner" is a revenge story that made me think about the little things that I have done in past that could have someone looking for revenge one day. Because the person that did the main character wrong didn't really do anything wrong in the first place-and if she did it was unintentional. She didn't deserve it, and the main character was almost unsympathetic.

"The Page Turner" tells the "tragic" tale of Mélanie Prouvost. The daughter of a butcher, as a child she was a very gifted piano player. She would play so beautifully that everyone would listen, and her chances of getting into a piano school seemed locked and loaded. However on the day of her try-out, she is in the middle of her piece, when somebody comes in asking for the autograph of Ariane Fouchécourt, one of the judges at the panel. The fan doesn't even ask-she just walks in and gives the paper to Ariane who signs it quickly. This distracts Melanie, who ends up screwing everything up after the fan leaves, destroying her chances at getting into the school. Years later she goes to work as an intern at a law firm where she gets the chance to babysit for the boss, Jean Fouchécourt. Jean allows Melanie to move in with him and she begins to watch his son, whose mother is none other than Ariane Fouchécourt. One day when Ariane is playing piano Melanie makes it known that she could read music, and Ariane makes Melanie her official page turner-at all the concerts she will turn the page for her so that Ariane would not get distracted. And thus begins Melanie's plan, which will hopefully end up ruining Ariane's life, work, and relationship with her family.

The problem is just that the beginning doesn't justify the means. I could not feel any sympathy for the large extents that Melanie goes to plot her revenge because I didn't really see Ariane do anything wrong. In my eyes, Melanie was distracted the second this fan walked into the room to get the autograph, and there was nothing that Ariane could have done about that. It wasn't a big deal that Melanie couldn't get into the piano school. It wasn't like her family was poor and she needed to go to the school for an education or because it would have been her last chance to be poor. If that character was developed a little more, I may have been allowed to care about what she does. In addition, Ariane did not seem like a bad enough person to have all of this happen to her. The final twist is amateur at best, and even her revenge plot is nothing special. The final scenes are something that a twelve year old could have predicted halfway through, and certainly do not make the ninety minutes worthwhile. The only thing that "The Page Turner" could be considered is an short and entertaining way to spend time, and for a French thriller it doesn't create a heavy amount of tension or intrigue, something that last years "Lemming" did extremely well. A weak script makes "The Page Turner" only mildly interesting, but it doesn't have enough substance to be worthwhile.

Colour Me Kubrick

Colour Me Kubrick **1/2

Directed by Brian W. Cook
Written by Anthony Frewin

Starring:
John Malkovich as Alan Conway

86 Minutes(Not Rated-Language, Some Sexual Material)
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If you take a look at the cast list that I supplied for "Colour Me Kubrick," you will see that I only bothered to include Malkovich. The reason is simply this-there wasn't any other character(maybe with the exception of one), that appeared in the film for longer than five minutes or so. Malkovich was pretty much the entire vehicle for this, and the entire film hinges on his performance. After all, there is so screenplay, no plot to speak of. Just a little bit of background information, and then the central concept. Anthony Frewin who penned the script didn't seem to have any type of story in mind when he wanted to tell us about this idea, and when he does want to put in something resembling a plot he tacks it on for about fifteen minute somewhere towards the end. And this is the problem of "Colour Me Kubrick." It isn't anything to recommend seeing because it isn't anything at all. It is an hour and a half of a decent Malkovich performance, a few laughs here and there, and that's it.

Malkovich plays Alan Conway, a con man living in Britain who loves to smoke, drink, and sleep with men. In hindsight, I'm surprised that Billy Bob Thorton didn't lobby for this role. Alan seems like the completely unideal person, and yet every single night he is with a new man, and he is constantly drunk even though he's broke. How? Well, whenever he introduces himself to someone he tells them that his name is Stanley Kubrick. And he doesn't even pretend that they have the same name-he literally says that he is Stanley Kubrick. He doesn't really know much about Kubrick, leading up to one memorable scene where a fan who is suspicious ends up listing all of his favorite Kubrick films-"A Clockwork Orange," "Lolita," "Barry Lyndon," "2001," "Dr. Strangelove," "Judgement at Nuremberg. . ." and when Alan tells a short story about an experience on that film he is busted. As Kubrick, Alan gets all sorts of free things-he always claims that he is broke and everybody is always just happy to buy Stanley Kubrick a drink. However Alan doesn't know that he is really ruining peoples lives-promising them jobs on the set of his newest film-"3001: A Space Odyssey, starring John Malkovich. . ." or even just not paying a taxi cab fare when he pretends to be going inside to borrow money off of his son, who doesn't exist either.

I am sure that there could have been an actual decent back story into Alan Conway-why he wants to pretend to be Kubrick, why he's a drunk. The script never really goes into why he does what he does. Instead it is mostly Malkovich walking into a pub, finding a guy, lying to him, sleeping with him, and then maybe a shot of him walking down a beach drinking before he passes out. And this is probably why "Colour Me Kubrick" wasn't given a larger release. Instead it was given one of those treatments where it comes out in a handful of theatres on a Friday, aired on HDTV that night, and then released on DVD the following Tuesday before being pulled from the theatres the next weekend. Before settling into my seat I was wondering why this would be given that treatment-Malkovich pretending to be Stanley Kubrick seems like gold. The story of Alan Conway was given a raw deal by the writer who apparently knew Stanley Kubrick, and this kind of material, as well as the star and director who this is based upon, deserves better.

Malkovich is more than good in his role as Alan Conway, and succeeded in making me laugh out loud several times. Whenever he pretends to be Kubrick he ends up putting on this phony loud British voice, something that Kubrick certainly didn't have. This is probably the most interesting aspect that the film introduces-the way that people act when the promise of a celebrity or the promise of a personal big break finds its way into their hands. Just the mere name-Stanley Kubrick-ends up igniting such selfish desires in people. They all want him for there own personal use, which is exactly why Alan Conway was successful. They didn't even need to think if it was really him or not-they just bought into it. Another funny concept is that people claim to adore Kubrick-they all say that his films changed their lives, and yet not a single person was able to spot the easy differences between Conway and Kubrick. If he was their favorite director, you would think they would have a clear distinction of what he looked like. So are people in love with Stanley Kubrick, or just the idea of him? These concepts are introduced but never fully realized, and they are always as undeveloped as the screenplay and character. Malkovich does what he can with the shoddy script, and makes "Colour Me Kubrick" worthwhile, but certainly only for the Tuesday DVD release, and not the journey to the theatre.

First Snow

First Snow **

Directed by Mark Fergus
Written by Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby

Starring:
Guy Pearce as Jimmy
Piper Perabo as Deirdre
William Fictner as Ed
J.K. Simmons as Vacaro
Shea Whigham as Vincent
Rick Gonzalez as Andy Lopez
Adam Scott as Tom Morelane

101 Minutes(Rated R for language, some violence and sexuality.)
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"First Snow" was not the engrossing and engaging thriller that I had hoped it would be. It was actually a bit of a shame to see the final product, and I left the theatre in a sort of dazed state of tiredness. There were moments here that just simply bored me, and I just wasn't interested in how anything would turn out. And then there was that cop out of an ending, which came out of nowhere. I guess there was a slightly interesting commentary and topic to ponder, but ultimately the entire film was just a waste of my time. Just a slightly intelligent screenplay with mediocre performances. And this is from the slowly growing Yari Film Group, who produced two masterpieces of "The Illusionist" and "The Painted Veil," but now resort to things like "First Snow" and "Gray Matters." They cannot build a high reputation if they follow the path they are on now. When I walked out of the theatre there was even a woman from Yari Film Releasing giving out an exit survey. While they have produced some very good films in the past, it was a shame to give this woman a low grade on the movie her company was behind. I suppose that the best way to think about this film is that it's "Memento"-lite, and this comparison is made even deeper through the setting ,and the fact that its Guy Pearce in both films.

Here, Pearce plays Jimmy, a cocky and somewhat self centered flooring salesman, who one day wants to branch out and start selling jukeboxes. To try and get some experience and some customers he will sometimes go on long road trips to find people to buy these jukeboxes. On one of these trips his car breaks down and he has to pull over at a gas station. Since it'll take a good day for the car to be fixed, Jimmy tries to occupy himself. When the local bar gets boring he sees a little fortune teller on the side of the road. Going inside for kicks, Jimmy gets a reading, under the impression that it's all a show. The man tells him things-he has a girl waiting for him, and that he will be getting money from Dallas. The teller suddenly gets a seizure like reaction to something, and demands that Jimmy leaves. When he returns home to his young girlfriend Deirdre, Jimmy learns of a business venture with his company where he will be promised money from Dallas. And suddenly he gets a health scare regarding his heart. Now he is suspicious. He returns to the teller wanting to know what happens, and all the teller says is that he will be fine up until the first snow of the season. From this point on Jimmy gets set into a large chain of events which lead to another meeting with Vincent, a former business partner that Jimmy betrayed causing Vincent to spend a few years in jail, all up until the first snow of the season where Jimmy will see if he'll survive or not.

The cool part about "First Snow" is the concept that is highlighted throughout the film. And that is we all make our own choices. Jimmy knew that he was going to run into a problem on the first snow, and he kept dragging himself through event after event up until the third act. And it seems like everything in his life was leading up to that moment. Small confrontations and actions all lead up to some final act. It makes you think about your own life, and how the smallest thing might possibly lead to your downfall. This concept is interesting, and it does justify some scenes throughout that may seem pointless and out of place. There is a lot of "business talk" with Jimmy and his bosses, but in the end it is these conversations that both show who Jimmy is, and lead to Jimmy's downfall. But it is the execution that was the downfall of "First Snow." The script and dialogue is just very tedious and, ultimately, boring. The rather unoriginal story did not improve matters either. I didn't really care what was going to happen to Jimmy. I did until he starting digging around, which is when the hour and forty minutes went on for an eternity. Guy Pearce does a somewhat decent job, but this is familiar to him. He went around seedy motel rooms pressing people for information in "Memento," which had a much more original story AND style. "First Snow" is a talky thriller that gets nowhere.

The cinematography is fairly decent, and the shots once the snow actually comes are beautiful. This marks the directing debut of Mark Fergus who penned the masterpiece "Children of Men," and it's obvious where his cinematographic influences come from. It was also nice to see J.K. Simmons, a rather underrated actor, in a role that lasts more than ten minutes. This may even be his second longest role in a film that I have ever seen, right after "The Ladykillers" which was pretty big. "First Snow" just wasn't the kind of film that I wanted it to be. I wanted a more edgy and interesting and intense thriller. I wanted a fleshed out character solving a mystery. Instead I got an interesting concept with no decent story to back it up. Fergus doesn't just need a message, he needs style too, otherwise his message is just wasting around, freezing to death in the snow.

Memory

Memory *1/2

Directed by Bennett Davlin
Written by Anthony Badalucco and Bennett Davlin, based on the novel by Bennett Davlin

Starring:
Billy Zane as Taylor Briggs
Ann-Margret as Carol Hargrave
Dennis Hopper as Max Lichtenstein
Deirdre Blades as Alisha Briggs
Tricia Helfer as Stephanie Jacobs
Terry Chen as Dr. Deepra Chang

98 Minutes(Rated R for language and frightening images.)
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"Memory" is completely worth the "direct to video" bin at a Wal-Mart. I can't understand how this was even given a theatrical distribution, or why a theatre in Manhattan that I always found very prestigious and respectful would bother playing it. I can't understand what possessed me to even see it. I suppose it was the trailer, which made it look so awful that I would have to watch it. I remember watching the trailer, too, right before "The Host." The trailer described some ridiculous thriller plot right up until the announcer guy stating "Titanic Star Billy Zane!" I remember the entire theatre laughing, right up until the very end when the trailer tries to shock the viewer with a scary masked man before they blacked out. The audience for "The Host" was clapping, and they have the right too. Those who sit to watch "The Host" on opening night are probably some fun movie watchers, and when they see a trailer for a campy horror flick they know how to react. So when I bought my ticket for "Memory" I guess I was hoping for "fun bad" like the trailer promised. Only the movie isn't "fun bad." It takes itself seriously and actually thinks it could be a decent thriller. But it was wrong. . . very wrong. There is nothing to take seriously in "Memory" aside from a ridiculous plot, terrible acting even from the veteran actors that somehow signed up to be in this, and one of the dullest "mystery" portions of any film that I could think of. And sitting in a theatre with two other people in the whole place did not make a good audience, even if you wanted to laugh at it. When I walked inside the trailers were beginning and I was the only one there. Slowly two others came in. Oh, how I wish I could've warned them. . . and myself. . .

I should have known what I was in for when Billy Zane is the headliner, and I'll admit I found myself laughing very loud when his name popped up as first billing. I knew it was coming, but there is something about his name in respectful white lettering on a black background that is just silly to think about. Zane plays Taylor Briggs, a scientist working on Alzheimer's disease, a disease which he could fall victim to just like his mother. He goes around with his friend and co-worker Deepra Chang giving lectures on their findings. While visiting a town Briggs is asked to report to a hospital where two doctors want his opinion on a patient covered in a strange white powder. While there, his safety glove breaks open and some of the powder gets on his finger. Taylor doesn't worry about it until he gets a strange reaction. He begins to have strange dreams where it seems like he is simply remembering something. However the memories are from the early seventies, an entire year before he was born. When the memories get more and more murderous, Taylor tries to investigate, with the help of Deepra, and the lovely new artist girlfriend he acquires named Alisha. To add fun to the mix are the people that are like parents to Taylor, Carol and Max, who he would never suspect, until they begin to get somewhat suspicious.

Zane is pretty bad, as expected. I think his best performance might be in "Zoolander" where he played himself. I never really had the stomach to sit through all of "Titanic," but since the trailer used that movie to talk him up to potential viewers, I might just have to check it out. Tricia Helfer is pretty enough to watch for ninety minutes or so, especially during the strip poker scene. Terry Chen played Deepra, the "casual, professional, but constantly witty right hand man who is always telling the main character to get laid." I've seen that character, and I've seen it played well, and this is not evidence of the latter. But it's Ann-Margret and Dennis Hopper that I am still scratching my head about. Neither one of them even deliver a mediocre performance, and both of them seem to know what kind of script they were dealing with and just wanted a fast paycheck. Luckily for them nobody will end up seeing them here anyway. The script for "Memory' is horrible, thinking that it could be something original and groundbreaking by bringing real life science into the mix. And the directing doesn't improve matters. The editing job is horrible, and every shot looks as like an individual take instead of multiple cameras that the director connects. Whenever there is a new shot and the actor says his line its as if he is just getting into character, and the shot was juts organized. There was no flow, and it was very distracting. When you get to the ridiculous plot twist at the end of "Memory" where the true killer is revealed and all the secrets come out you'll want to erase your own memory of what you just witnessed. "Memory" doesn't belong on a big screen, and for something like this it is a privilege to even get a small screen.

Premonition

Premonition **

Directed by Mennan Yapo
Written by Bill Kelly

Starring:
Sandra Bullock as Linda Hanson
Julian McMahon as Jim Hanson
Shyann McClure as Megan Hanson
Courtney Taylor Burness as Bridgette Hanson
Nia Long as Annie
Marc Macaulay as Sheriff Reilly
Kate Nelligan as Joanne
Amber Valletta as Claire
Peter Stormare as Dr. Norman Roth

106 Minutes(Rated PG-13 for some violent content, disturbing images, thematic material and brief language).
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"Premonition" is pretty much a silly thriller with not a lot of tension, a ridiculous final message, and a performance by Sandra Bullock that makes her look like she doesn't want to be there at all. This is just another one of those thrillers that believes it is better than it really is, thinks that it'll wow the audience with some kind of shocking finale, but in the end does not do any of those things. At the end of "Premonition," time has passed about you walk out of the theatre after the bummer of an ending checking your watch, quickly returning to reality, and basically forgetting everything about what you just saw. This is just another dud, and Bullock needs actual read a script next time.

"Premonition" has her playing Linda Hanson who was once a happy wife with her husband Jim. Now time has left a scar on the couple, and she feels like he isn't participating in the lives of their two daughters, Megan and Bridgette. Jim is going on an overnight business trip, and on the afternoon when he is supposed to return the doorbell rings and it is the police telling her that her husband died in a car accident the day before. Linda is horrified. Her mother comes to stay with her for a few weeks, and Linda tries to recover from the death. She drinks herself to sleep one night, and when she wakes up she goes downstairs to find her mother gone, and to find that Jim is sitting at the table eating cereal. Now she is confused. What is going on? Not only is her husband alive but it is a week before the trip is even supposed to happen. And there is a dead vulture on her lawn. And there is a strange pill box in her medicine chest with the name Norman Roth on them. Linda decides to just accept this reality, but then her world is shattered once again when she wakes up the next day to find that her husband is dead again. This goes on for a while, alternating worlds each day, and Linda tries to put the pieces together to try and save her husband, if she could properly remember everything that happened to him in the first place.

There is that certain level of mystery that all of these thrillers impose on you. They do suck you in just because you end up wanting to know how and why these things are happening. And the fatal flaw of the script is that you never find out how and why any of this is happening. There is a small message that is introduced in the middle about family and faith and love, but that is just to justify the fact that the screenwriters probably didn't know how to tie everything together. And I found it hard to believe certain events at the end, because if the Linda character had paid more attention to something that was said towards the beginning, there could have been a happier conclusion. This is alright, but the fact of the matter is a twelve year old could have remembered this bit of information, and during one of the final scenes I was practically shouting at the character because of her stupidity. And then there is that final shot that just makes you groan, and by the time the credits start to roll you throw your hands up in anger-"Could that really be all?!" There isn't much reason for "Premonition" to have been made, unless Bullock just needed a quick buck. But if she needs a quick buck she could have starred in something with a little more juice. . .a little originality. I find it hard to believe that she would have trouble getting a role. After watching "Premonition" I am having a premonition of my own-that if Sandra Bullock doesn't shape up her career would be like her on-screen husband here:dead, with no chance of revival.

Dead Silence

Dead Silence **1/2

Directed by James Wan
Written by Leigh Whannell

Starring:
Ryan Kwanten as Jamie Ashen
Amber Valletta as Ella Ashen
Donnie Wahlberg as Det. Jim Lipton
Michael Fairman as Henry Walker
Joan Heney as Marion Walker
Bob Gunton as Edward Ashem
Laura Regan as Lisa Ashen
Dmitry Chepovetsky as Richard Walker
Judith Roberts as Mary Shaw

90 Minutes(Rated R for horror violence and images.)
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I have to criticize James Wan with one big thing before I continue. I know it seems like the "cool thing" to have the opening logos be in the "old school fashion," but in a way it is a little pretentious. David Fincher did it a few weeks ago with "Zodiac," to be fair Fincher is an actually decent film maker. In addition, that film was all about the 60's and the 70's right down to the music, and the 60's logo fit in. By using the Universal logo from the early 30's shows me that James Wan thinks that him and his films could be compared to the "creature" films that Universal is known for-ie. "Frankenstein" and "Dracula." Sadly, for him, Wan's films cannot compare to the classics of James Whales and Tod Browning no matter how much money "Saw" made.

That being said, I could also somewhat admire Wan for making an actual horror movie, or at least attempting to make one, instead of diving into the recent "torture/snuff" film popularity of the last few years. He decided that he didn't want to be a one trick pony, and not make the same movie twice in a row, and although he did make "Saw" at least that did have an actual plot twist to go along with it, and it wasn't just random acts of violence. There is an actual story here as well, including some minor scares, and a little style that could have been used a little bit more, and a little bit better. "Dead Silence" is about half a decent horror film, and certainly one that I would recommend more than "Hostel" or "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

"Dead Silence" begins with the typical horror film married couple-Jamie and Lisa Ashen. On this rainy night the couple decides to order Chinese food, and are surprised when the doorbell reveals a package on their doorstep. Inside the package there is a dummy that looks kind of creepy(almost in a Slappy from "Goosebumps" kind of way). Jamie goes out to pick up the food, and Lisa plays with the dummy only to be killed and then have her tongue ripped out. Jamie returns to find his wife dead and decides that he wants to find out why. He gets involved in an old local legend of Mary Shaw(Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. .. she has no children, only dolls. . .) and finds out that she created hundreds and hundreds of dolls which all drove her to insanity. And there is a reason why Jamie received the doll (this one is named Billy) and it has to do with an old ancient family curse which started when a young Ashen heckled Mary Shaw on stage, and she decided that she would get her revenge. At the same time Jamie is being hunted down by Det. Jim Lipton, who believes that he had to do with the death of his wife.

There is a certain style to "Dead Silence." To match the title, whenever something bad is about to happen all of the sound just disappears. The character doesn't hear anything even though things are still happening around him. This, of course, all leads up to massive scare. This would have been a more effective technique if Wan also cut the musical score that for some reason played behind all of these scenes. I mean, really, if you want to scare the audience with silence, than you completely make everything silent! The performances are very horror-movie esque,and Wan even got his friend Donnie Wahlberg to get involved. Wahlberg will always be in the shadow of his brother, but for a small role in a B-horror flick he was pretty decent. At least he made me laugh at one point towards the end. "Dead Silence" even tacks on a nice little twist at the end that I would have never guessed, but then he goes the "Saw" route and does that thing where he shows little clips of everything that has happened thus far with this twist revealing itself in every scene, all to the tune of some horrible music that is more annoying than catchy. The rest of the audience did clap after the credits, and I just nodded my head in slight approval. It isn't that "Dead Silence" is a bad film, but the scares are not really consistant. I was glad that the dummies weren't what killed everyone, but it was really the ghost of Mary Shaw. The posters kind of showed otherwise.

And one more thing-to horror film directors. Please don't bother showing these opening credit sequences where the audience has no idea who anybody is. With the exception of Walhberg and perhaps Amber Valetta(if you're a film nerd, or just have a big crush on her) there isn't anybody in this film that the masses would have heard of. And to sit through a three minute, irritating credit sequence where everybody is an unknown is painful, and it really did defer my attention for a while.

I Think I Love My Wife

I Think I Love My Wife ***

Directed by Chris Rock
Written by Chris Rock and Louis C.K. based on the film "Chloe in the Afternoon" written by Eric Rohmer

Starring:
Chris Rock as Richard Cooper
Kerry Washington as Nikki Tru
Gina Torres as Brenda Cooper
Steve Buscemi as George
Edward Herrmann as Mr. Landis
Samantha Ivers as Tracy
Wendell Pierce as Sean

90 Minutes(Rated R for pervasive language and some sexual content. )
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They are all going through it. Sandler did it with "Click" and now Chris Rock is going through it with "I Think I Love My Wife." These comedians that are used to strong raunchy humor are going through their "Wake up, all grown up" phases. This means that they make a film with a small amount of their usual comedy to please their fans, but at the same time they are making a film with enough drama to show their fans that they are ready for something a little different. To be fair, Sandler was in both "Punch Drunk Love" and "Spanglish" before doing "Click," but the latter film was really the first "Adam Sandler" movie, wherein he just acted in the former two. And Chris Rock has shown that he is capable of doing a film with a slightly dramatic script, even if his performance doesn't reflect this well. "I Think I Love My Wife" becomes a worthy comedy/drama that is as clever as it is heartbreaking, and as hilarious as it is somewhat thought provoking.

Rock plays Richard Cooper, one of the only black men at the law firm that he works in. On second thought, he isn't the only black man-there is also the janitor, the cleaning crew, the elevator operator, etc. Therefore he thinks that he is pretty high up in the company, and is proud of himself for all he accomplished. He has a beautiful wife, two great kids, and a family life that he thought he could only dream about. But his only problem is that he is bored out of his "effin'" mind. Richard likes to dream about other women. He claims that he will never touch one, and that it is alright to look at women that he will never see again. It even causes him to buy a shirt in a color that he hates because the beautiful woman that sold it to him said it looked great on him. Richard begins to find himself in too deep with his old friend Nelson's former girlfriend Nikki visits him for a favor. Richard had a little crush on Nikki when she and Nelson were dating, and he hates to find out that she hasn't changed at all. And what is worse is that she seems to be somewhat interested in him as well. Richard tries to keep telling himself that he loves his wife, and that his new found friendship with Nikki is not wrong, but he finds it difficult when she keeps showing up to his office every afternoon, and as he watches his secretaries and those who work around him shoot him dirty looks throughout the day. At the same time, his wife Brenda begins to notice that he is acting very differently lately, and intends to find out why.

The films biggest flaw may be Chris Rock himself. While his script offers a fair balance of comedy and drama, the moments where he inserts comedy seem more like stand up that character humor. And his delivery or topics like Michael Jackson and Viagra just sound like he is delivering a joke to a few hundred people in a concert hall and finds it impossible to stay into character. There is a scene with him and his wife having dinner with another married couple that could fit into the flow, but the comedy that is throughout is just Rock doing stand up in front of three other people, and there is not an inch of Richard Cooper in that scene at all. Rock also sits behind the camera, and his editing work is a little sketchy. There isn't any real flow to the entire film, and since his first directing job was in "Head of State" it is clear that he still needs work in that field. I can appreciate the fact that the Brenda character is a decent, pretty woman and not some ugly and horrible woman. There is a seriously dilemma, and it is clear that Richard is confused. His wife is a lovely woman, and so is his family. Why should he throw it all away for a young skirt? If this went the "Norbit" route and had Chris Rock in a fat suit, than. . .well, I don't even want to think about it. Background work by Steve Buscemi as the man who has the life that Rock wishes he has, and Edward Herrmann as his boss is decent, and for once a white character isn't made out to be some goofy caricature. "I Think I Love My Wife" is Chris Rock finally getting a little older, and for the most part he succeeds. It is funny enough, and has enough drama to please even the females. This is a fine effort, and a very enjoyable little film.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon ***1/2

Directed by Scott Glosserman
Written by Scott Glosserman and David J. Stieve

Starring:
Nathan Baesel as Leslie Vernon
Angela Goethals as Taylor Gentry
Kate Lang Johnson as Kelly
Robert Englund as Doc Halloran
Zelda Rubinstein as Mrs. Collinwood
Scott Wilson as Eugene
Bridgett Newton as Jamie

92 Minutes(Rated R for horror violence, language, some sexual content and brief drug use.)
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"Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" is a very entertaining mockumentary/horror/comedy that is as scary as it is small and witty. It is a take on the old horror cliches of the past, and goes play by play into how and why and killer like Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers would choose to kill in that way. There is a reason why kids never break the windows in the house, and why the lights always seem to go out at that precise moments, and there is also a reason why the killer always ends up killing the couple having sex first. And the screenplay by Scott Glosserman and David J. Stieve is so smart that I've had the most fun I've had in a while watching this film.

"Behind the Mask" begins with the introduction of Taylor Gentry, a college news reporter. From her brief opening we learn that she was hired by Leslie Vernon, who claims that he is the next big killer in the vein of Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers. Taylor and her two cameraman have been enlisted in giving audiences a play by play to Vernon's big plan. Vernon turns out to be an extremely likable and kind person whose only flaw may be that he is a mass killer. His plan is to attack Kelly, his virgin girl that he hopes will also survive her encounter with him. Kelly works at a local diner, and him and Taylor get her attention by doing the ol' have-her-think-there-is-someone-in-the-shadows-and-have-her-walk-in-that-direction-only-to-have-the-door-that-she-came-out-of-slam-shut-behind-her. He then details that the slasher killer is more of a calling than an actual revenge story. Vernon's story of revenge after the rape and murder of his mother is a complete fabrication, and he only uses it for a back story. He really just wants to slaughter a group of people and become a legend. And from that point on we follow Vernon's plan to kill a small group of teenagers in his house on the so called "Anniversary of His Death!" as Taylor and the camera crew begin to question Vernon's sanity, and if they really want to participate in the event at all.

The take on slasher film cliches is almost genius. I can still chuckle about Vernon and a punching bag, drenched in sweat, with him saying "You have no idea how much cardio I have to do. . . You have to keep up with all those young kids. . . and then you have to do that thing where it looks like you're walking, and somehow with all those kids running around like gazelles you manage to keep up." Other memorable sequences include his final touch ups on the house before the big night, where he describes why people go to the basement, why they don't smash windows, and why their cars won't start. Slasher killing is taken to an art form, and is never and idea off the top of Freddy or Jason's head. They have a goal and a purpose. There is also a little joke involving the reason why there are so many "Halloween," "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Friday the 13th" films. Apparently most killer in the 70's would kill someone and then they would vanish forever, or be killed. But Jason and Freddy and Michael took killing to new heights and kept coming back until their presence almost seems like a curse.

Through the intelligent script, Scott Glosserman and David J. Stieve show that they both have a strong love for the slasher/horror genre, and instead of making a spoof film like what most happens, they make a smart satire. and then in the end the script takes a different turn and becomes the third act in most of these slasher flicks, and we see one by one as the kids die. But it is still smart ,and there is an ingenious script towards the end that I would have never seen coming. There is even a great cameo by Robert Englund, who played Freddy in all the "Nightmare on Elm Street movies." Ironically he is playing that one good character that knows exactly where Leslie is at all times, and exactly what he is up to and he intends to stop him. That was a nice touch by the film makers as well. Made with a cheaper than cheap budget(under a million dollars), "Behind the Mask" proves that a film maker could do a lot with a little. They have made an effective little movie that is doing exactly what they intended. This could join "Shaun of the Dead" as one of the best horror movie satires of all time, and "Behind the Mask" will please any horror buff, or even somebody who is tired of the old horror film cliches that the horror movies today are all victim to.

Nomad(The Warrior)

Nomad(The Warrior) **1/2

Directed by Sergei Bodrov and Ivan Passer
Written by Rustam Ibragimbekov

Starring:
Jay Hernandez as Erali
Kuno Becker as Mansur
Jason Scott Lee as Oraz
Ayanat Yesmagambetova as Gaukhar
Mark Decascos as Sharish

100 Minutes(Rated R for violence)
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"Nomad" is a good old fashioned epic, in the shadows of films like "Doctor Zhivago" and "Lawrence of Arabia." Recently I was watching "Braveheart" and I said that they didn't make movies of this type anymore. Good ol' fashioned epic adventure stories, love stories, with massive battle scenes. The closest that I could think of is "300" and that wasn't old fashioned or even very interesting. There is no way that "Nomad" was as ambitious as "300," but it does have moments of supreme entertainment, and the action/battle scenes and cinematography are practically breathtaking, This tries to be an epic of the 60's, and for the most part it succeeds. However, there is something missing from "Nomad" that doesn't make it perfect, or even worth seeing in the end.

"Nomad" tells the story of Mansur. Many years ago, in Kazakhstan, a traveling man had a prophecy that told him that there was a child who would help the Kazakh's come to freedom and become independent. He goes on a journey and discovers that the child is the Sultan's son. He makes a deal with the Sultan after saving the boys life from the ongoing Jungars, and takes the boy to train him to become a great warrior. Years pass, and Mansur still doesn't know that he is the son of the Sultan, but he is trained to hold an image of a free Kazakhstan in his mind to help him fulfill the prophecy. He trains alongside his best friend Erali, and is in love with the beautiful Gaukhar, but wants to step aside when he learns that Erali is also in love with her. Eventually Gaukhar becomes kidnapped by the Jungar swordsman Sharish, and Mansur will not let this off lightly as he journeys to the Jungar camp to try and save the woman that he loves.

"Nomad" had a long and rocky road being made. It was partially directed by Ivan Passer, but budget problems put the completion of the film in the air. Eventually the Weinsteins put up another forty million dollars to director Sergei Bodrov who finished it, as long as there were more battle scenes and more development of the central love story. "Nomad" or "The Warrior" as it is subtitled, is the finished product. In a way its timing is perfect. A story about Kazakhstan independence and pride right after "Borat' caused all that controversy a few months ago with the country. It's almost as if they wanted this film to tell the true story of Kazakhstan after that hilarious television reporter made the Kazakhstan mark on America. This also led to a strange decision having Jay Hernandez and Kuno Becker as the two leads. They are both of Mexican descent and probably had no idea about the story of Kazakhstan before reading the script. "Nomad" isn't very difficult to separate from those recent epics like "Braveheart" and "Gladiator" except for the hour less running time and the lack of any big stars. I think that if it was marketed correctly "Nomad" could have been released commercial, but the Weinstein brothers once again failed to make any kind of mark. This is the third time in the last few months that I have noticed their incompetence. First was "Breaking and Entering" which they moved and moved to the point where when it was released nobody knew anything about it. And than they really wanted Sienna Miller to get an Oscar nod for "Factory Girl," so instead of giving it a big Oscar campaign throughout Oscar season(for example releasing it in October, which was after Whitaker's "The Last King of Scotland," and Mirren's "The Queen" were released) they released it in a single LA theatre on December 29th. It's a wonder that nobody knew about her performance. And now with "Nomad" they dubbed it down, and released it without really any trailers or commercials. Before seeing the film I had not seen a single frame of "Nomad" before buying the ticket, and the Weinsteins were lucky I'm a film fan or they would have never gotten my ten dollars.

In the end, the thing that "Nomad" lacks if any spirit. Even though the battle scenes look great, and it has moments of strong entertainment, it is extremely by the books and it doesn't offer anything new to the genre. I've seen this movie before, and quite a number of times. Even with only an hour and forty five minutes it still seems padded and overlong. The cinematography is pretty much breathtaking, and some of the final shots do leave a good impression in your mind even if the screenplay does not. I enjoyed "Nomad" for the most part, but there have been better made films of the issue. Just watch "Braveheart" and pretend that Mel Gibson is from Kazakhstan, and it's basically the same thing.

Adam's Apples

Adam's Apples **1/2

Directed by Anders Thomas Jensen
Written by Anders Thomas Jensen

Starring:
Ulrich Thomsen as Adam Pedersen
Mads Mikkelsen as Ivan
Nicolas Bro as Gunnar
Paprika Steen as Sarah Svendesen
Ali Kazim as Khalid
Ole Thestrup as Dr. Kolberg

94 Minutes(Rated R for language and violence)
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The official entry from Denmark for the Academy Awards, "Adam's Apples" in a dark comedy in every sense of the word-brutal, harsh, witty, but sadly not perfect. In fact after the brilliant opening fifty minutes or so, I was practically in tears when the final forty did not work with the promise of the start. It was almost as if director/writer Anders Thomas Jensen ran out of ideas and drifted into whatever he could think of, as the screenplay looses its focus and puts the characters in situations and events that seem as if they came out of a hat. And this is the reason why I cannot fully recommend "Adam's Apples," unless perhaps you walk out the second you see the return of a female character(and it shouldn't be hard to spot considering all of the main characters are men.) Sure the story you began wouldn't have a conclusion, but at least it wouldn't be an unsatisfying one.

"Adam's Apples" starts off with Adam Pedersen getting off a bus and looking right at a church. It is clear that Adam has had quite a past-he is shaved bald and on the shoulder of the arm he carries his suitcase with there is a tattoo of a swastika. Yes, Adam is a Neo-Nazi who has been released from jail and placed under the guardianship of Ivan, the vicar at a church that takes in people like him. Ivan is horrified to see that Adam's profile contains the word EVIL and vows to help him reform. Ivan asks Adam what his goal is, and Adam replies that he wants to bake a large pie for everyone in the church with the apples in the apple tree in the front. Ivan hands the tree over to Adam, who really does care about tending to it. Adam meets a colorful array of characters-including the Pakistan Khalid who doesn't speak much Danish, and Gunnar the overweight sex offender who tries to rob Adam before being caught and beat up. And then there is Ivan himself who seems to have one hell of a past. It seems that Ivan's mother was killed during childbirth, that his father raped him and his sister, and that his son was born handicapped even though he claims that he is fine. The wheelchair and paralysis speak otherwise. Adam tries to get to the bottom of Ivan's strange behavior-is Ivan evil, crazy, or just a man with a tragic past? And how come the Bible keeps falling open to the start of the Book of Job? And what is with the birds in the apple tree?

There are some very funny sequences placed throughout "Adam's Apples." One of them that comes to mind is a segment involving birds in the apple tree, and their ways to try and get rid of them. When Adam suggests that he shoots them out, Khalid ends up taking out a gun from his jacket and kills them all with perfect aim. Ivan could also be one of the best characters I've seen in a while, and his belief that everyone is good is both hilarious and frustrating. When during the incident above Khalid accidentally(or was it on purpose) kills Gunar's cat, Ivan responds "The cat was old, and just happened to fall down during the shootout." Of course it doesn't take a genius to see the large blood patch in the center of its body. It is moments and characters like this that make for great dark comedy, but towards the end the script completely switches gears. In the start it was fun to watch these four character collide. Seeing them talk outside had the excitement of what they would say or do next. For the first time in a while I didn't mind that there wasn't a female in sight, and then one had to reappear. No, there isn't a tacky love story between Adam and the girl(the drunk Sarah), but this seems to be the borderline between greatness and "kinda good." There is a story involving Khalid and his addiction to robbing gas stations, a shootout, and then something about other Nazi's getting involved-all leading up top a great final scene. This script bounces so much I don't know if I should call it brilliant or amateur. But then again, at this point in my life it isn't like I could do better. There is terrific cinematography, and the lack of any sunshine or blue skies perfectly reflect what is happening on the screen. There is also that dark tint that I can't describe that I just love-if you want an idea of what I mean check out the scene in the grocery store near to the end.

"Adam's Apples" does have well made dark comedy, and the performance by Mads Mikkelsen(Ivan) is pitch perfect. It is funny, has some kind of a message, and is somewhat thought provoking, but in the end it just slips under the line of being worthwhile. It is worth a video rental at some time, or a viewing on television. It has its moments, but in the grand scheme of things it isn't anything incredible.

The Wind That Shakes The Barley

The Wind That Shakes The Barley ***

Directed by Ken Loach
Written by Paul Laverty

Starring:
Cilliam Murphy as Damien
Padraic Delaney as Teddy
Liam Cunningham as Dan
Gerard Kearney as Donnacha
William Ruane as Gogan
Orla Fitzgerald as Sinead

127 Minutes(Not Rated-Strong Violence, Language)
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"The Wind That Shakes the Barley" is not perfect, but it sure is powerful. With a title taken from an old little song that the Irish would sing during their quest for independence, it is clear what the plot will be about. It was the top winner at last years Cannes Film Festival, and while I haven't seen all of those that were on the final list of nominees it is clearly the best one(and on a side note, why is "Fast Food Nation" on that list at all?) Ken Loach has managed to take a film about history and invest the viewer in characters that are so realistic that its as if they were pulled straight from history. Actors like Cillian Murphy have impressed me in bouts-and this is clearly his best role alongside with "Breakfast on Pluto." The script is equally impressive, telling me about an incident between the Irish and the British, something that I knew next to nothing about, and managed to educate me in rich detail and at the same time tell a powerful and deep love story that borders the films main action. But then again the entire film is one big love story-not just between two people, but also between an entire country. "The Wind That Shakes the Barley' is a story of the struggle for independence, as well as the story of struggle for unity between family, friendships, and romantic relationships.

The film follows Damien, and Irish doctor who is about to move to England to run away from the hardships that his country is facing. Just when he is about to board the train he sees two British officers attacking an Irish train conductor, and he changes his plans right away. He becomes an IRA man(Irish Republican Army for those that do not know) and jump into the battle with the British, alongside his brother Teddy. Damien does not have a happy time, obviously, and is forced to watched many of his family get brutally tortured and injured, including Sinead, the woman that he loves, but has a hard time admitting. Eventually, as history and the film goes, Ireland ends up signing a treaty with Britain in 1922, but this leads to more problems when Ireland divides itself over it. One of the problems with the treaty is that it does not give all of Ireland independence, only part of it. And its either that all of Ireland is able to be free, or none of it is, dividing up the brothers as much as it divides Ireland.

It is easily heartbreaking to sit through the film, and it is such an impressive script and direction that Loach and screenwriter Laverty are a match made in heaven. There have been other IRA films in the past-"The Crying Game" comes to mind, but "The Wind That Shakes the Barley" tells the story through history, yes, but the main focus is of family and love. Damien's family and home almost parallels what is happening at the time. His brotherhood with Teddy is symbolic of Ireland and their struggle for unity. Meanwhile when the Treaty splits of Ireland it splits the two of them up. And Murphy and Delaney act as if they are actual brothers to the point where it makes it ten times more upsetting as the events of the final act continue. There isn't much happiness in the film, and it is bleak and dark, just like the beautiful cinematography. There is a brief interlude about ninety minutes in where Ireland is able to rejoice, but it is soon back lashed by more struggle. I'll admit that even though it is a deeply moving film to watch, it has its flaws. For example it does get slightly repetitive at times. The Irish fight, they yell, the British yell, they fight again, repeat. I was very grateful for the romantic interludes that you find yourself in at times to get away from the war a bit. Perhaps it could have been trimmed just a slight bit-not too much, though.

"The Wind That Shakes the Barley" manages to suck you in from the first few minutes-an opening credit sequence of the Irish playing soccer. It is here that you are introduced to the characters at their best-and the last time they will be at their best. There is a hint of innocence-even though there is a struggle it isn't very clear. It isn't predicted that their lives will go through so much for the next two years, and you almost wish that they would play forever. It is a difficult film to sit through, but eventually a rewarding one. It is dark, beautiful, and poetic, with great performances and directed by a master of history. It is the work of someone who really does care about what happened in Ireland those many years ago, and this is evident not only in direction but in great and real characters. This should be in early consideration for Best Original Screenplay at the Oscars next year, and I will try to remember that come award season. This is simply a rewarding experience to sit through, and I will recommend it to anyone.

300

300 **1/2

Warner Brothers Pictures Presents
A Film Directed by Zack Snyder
Written by Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Michael Gordon, based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller

Starring:
Gerard Butler as King Leonidas
Lena Headey as Queen Gorgo
Dominic West as Theron
David Wenham as Dilios
Vincent Regan as Captain
Michael Fassbender as Stelios
Tom Wisdom as Astinos
Andrew Pleavin as Daxos
Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes
Rodrigo Santoro as Xerxes
Giovani Cimmino as Pleistarchos

117 Minutes(Rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity).
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For the last few months I have heard nothing from my peers other than "300", as well as various terms related to it, like people shouting "Sparta!" in the middle of the hallways on the way to class. When this began happening last November I became curious-I had heard nothing of this "300." I tracked down the trailer, and when it was done I simply said "oh boy." I was looking more forward to "Grindhouse" than this one. I knew that I wouldn't dig "300." That it would be over hyped to death even before it came out, and that it wouldn't be a very good movie anyway. And it isn't. It isn't an intense and effective battle film-more of an over the top film with awful acting and a lame script, which also happens to be visually stunning. However if you want to see some of the best visuals(except about four images that come to mind right away) than you needn't look more further than the film's trailer. I wasn't disappointed with "300" because I did not build it up. However, I have a feeling that in a month or two the appeal for "300" will slowly die down, and that it won't hold up to the cult status of other films of this nature.

"300" was based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller, whose work was responsible for 2005's "Sin City," (and just saying the year for "Sin City" and then looking at the current year, and the fact that that was almost two years ago just makes me very sad.) "Sin City" was hailed far too much, and it was made out to be a much greater film than it really was. "Sin City" had some amazing visuals, and there was obvious care into every single shot. It was made to be a panel to panel comparison to the graphic novel, because Miller obviously has a strong amount of respect in his fan base. His story here involves King Leonidas, who was saved from being thrown over a cliff as a baby, and was slowly trained to be a warrior. After defeating a wolf in the middle of winter(or as they say in the film "in the winter cold"), Leonidas becomes well respected among all the Spartans. When Leonidas declares war on the Persian army in their city of Thermopylae he told by many people in Sparta not to go. But Leonidas goes against the wishes on some of the council members and gathers an army of 300 men against the massive army that the Persians have assembled. And the battle begins as the Spartans kick some Persian behind, and then eventually going against the various creatures that the Persians inflict upon them. Meanwhile back on home, Leonidas wife Gorgo(played by Lena Headey who, and I have never said this before about her, is smoking hot) tries to gain support from the council to give her husband support in war, while also trying to be plotted against by the evil Theron.

I suppose I could appreciate "300" more than I actually enjoyed it. For it's artistic vision, I would give it the highest rating possible. I never read the graphic novel, but I hear that Snyder stayed very true to the source material, even going for the panel for panel thing like "Sin City." The battle scenes are easily not the best parts in the film, but the best things to watch are the backgrounds and setting. It's beautiful and you forget that he entire film was shot on green screen. But, sadly, they show all the best images in the trailers-the wolf about to face a young boy, the men all falling off a cliff, the boats sailing on the raging waves. There are some images worth seeing that aren't in the trailer, one of them being Spartans laying down with one of them in the center with an arrow in his chest. A second highlight is the Queen's back story which actually ended up being the most gripping, and contained the biggest surprise scene where everybody in the theatre actually clapped. That and Headey is a rare beauty that pulls that off while also not appearing vulnerable. Her character seems stronger than some of the Spartans. I also liked the music-the score, I mean, containing the large choir. Most of that was pretty powerful stuff.

And then there are the negatives. "300" has the worst script of anything that I have seen in a while. It was almost like George Lucas penned it. Whenever there was nothing to say, they would say a line with the word "Sparta" in it. "This is SPARTA!" "SPARTANS, tonight we dine in hell!" "The tactics of SPARTA!. . ." and so on and so forth. The rest of the dialogue is just over the top and silly(I've already mentioned the "wolf in the winter cold.) And then there is the acting. Very much like Leonidas assembled 300 men to attack the Spartans, but Zack Snyder assembled 300 of the worst actors around. Not including Lena Headey, and to an extent Gerald Butler. However, Butler has managed to play the same character within the costumes of Leonidas, The Phantom of the Opera, and Beowulf, so I don't know if I could give him any more credit. The rest of them don't even look like their trying-as if they are blaming the lame script for their laughable acting. At one point a Spartan runs over to Leonidas, and then right before he is about to speak to him he pauses for a breath. This could seem humorous as a joke, but it became humorous because of the way he acted it out. And lastly the battle scenes were uninspired, offering nothing new and no really cool ways to show the killings. After watching "Gladiator" and seeing the intensity of that film, "300" paled in comparison. The best scenes were the more political ones, which ended up being the saving grace. There was also the choice to add some horrible metal music before most of the battle scenes.

Overall, "300" ended up being a rather annoying film that happens to be pretty to look at. Snyder is obsessed with the art of slow motion. Battle scenes are always a lose-lose scenario. They either focus too much on slow-mo, which makes them go on for an eternity, or they do them with five hundred different editing cuts to the point where you can't even see anything. Snyder works with a mixture of the former and the latter. He will start in normal speed, but right before any impact we'll start to go at a frame per second until the wound is complete.

And so I am slightly torn. It was hard, I'll admit, to rate this. I didn't know if I should give it four stars or zero stars. For "300" is a great film when it comes to a visual style and the visual style alone, but like I have said before it isn't a visual style that makes a film. So I have to give it something slightly less than a recommendation. It just fails at being a compelling or even memorable war film. It's ambitious and it's the work of someone with talent, but it isn't a masterpiece and doesn't come close. At times I think that it thinks it does, and with the teenage audience that will worship it, I'm sure that won't help the films ego either. On a final note, I saw "300" on the IMAX screen, which is really the only way to see anything. If somethings out on IMAX, there is not reason not to go. I saw this on IMAX, and then I poked my head in the next day at work to see a piece of it and it pales in comparison. And if on a standard big screen "300" doesn't look as good as on IMAX, then I would hate to see how it looks on a television screen.

"300" is a magnificent failure-it's important to see big, but it isn't important to see it at all. I would rather wait for "Grindhouse."