Halloween

Halloween *

Directed by Rob Zombie
Written by Rob Zombie

Starring:
Tyler Mane as Adult Michael Myers
Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Sam Loomis
Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Strode
Sheri Moon Zombie as Deborah Myers
Daeg Faerch as Young Michael Myers
Brad Dourif as Sheriff Leigh Brackett
Danielle Harris as Annie Brackett
Kristina Klebe as Lynda
William Forsythe as Ronnie White

109 Minutes(Rated R for strong brutal bloody violence and terror throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity and language).
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Rob Zombie's "Halloween" is a lifeless clunker of a remake-at times scene for scene of the original, and then at times just an endless ramble that will forever be known as Zombie's interpretation of the classic 70's slasher film. You could see Zombie trying to give the material a little more heart than the first, but he fails by giving villain Michael Myers the most obviously horrid lifestyle, but that does not justify the killing as much as Zombie thinks it does. He also casts some of the worst actors in the history of cinema, including his own wife-Sheri Moon Zombie-who only profits as an actress when her husband makes a movie. Now I'm going to assume that every ones seen the original "Halloween"-and John Carpenter and Jamie Lee Curtis make a much better team than Zombie and Scout Taylor-Compton-a virtually unknown young actress who will stay that way after this-the only time I ever heard her name in the news was when she ran away from home and was presumed dead for a few days.

Now the original "Halloween" starts with a brief ten minute prologue about how Mike Myers ended up killing his family on Halloween night, and then was sent to an institution where he goes under the tutelage of Dr. Sam Loomis. But then he escapes and on Halloween night several years later ends up returning to his Illinois house to reign terror on the town once more! This prologue is extended to about forty five minutes in the remake, painfully recording every single detail of Myers life-including how his mother was a stripper and kids in school would taunt him about that, how his sister was hit on all the time, how his mother dated a no good drunk who would make fun of him every chance he could, and how Michael would be picked on at school or beat up, and he would cover his face with a mask to hide himself. Very sweet, really. . . or it would be if Zombie did not throw us every lame factor that would make someone an outcast. But its no surprise that he ends up killing his mom's boyfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, and then his mother has no choice but to send him to Loomis. I thought it would be done but it still wasn't, and Myers goes through a long and painful interview process, until his eventual escape. There is even another attempt at heart with a prison guard who is good to Myers, but when Myers escapes he kills him anyway.

We then flash back to Chicago where we get another character-Laurie Strode, the role that made Jamie Lee Curtis a star-who on Halloween night is going to babysit for young Tommy. She has her two friends-Lynda and Annie-both who intend on having sex with their nerdy boyfriends. But when the babysitting gig starts it continues with Myers killing her friends and then intending on killing Laurie. Meanwhile Loomis has a feeling he knows where Myers is going, and with the help of the town sheriff, played by Brad Dourif-why?, tries to stop him before it's too late.

Zombie's film is problematic from the start. It seems like he wanted to make his own version of the movie, and at the same time make a faithful remake. Its clear that he wants to try and make another dimension to the Michael Myers character, at least to show his cruddy lifestyle to justify his behavior and his lifestyle. But the beginning-which really branches from the original-is just plain dull. I could care less for Myers in this film where we see him as a child into a young adult, than I did in the original where he is just a random killing machine. Then we get the second half, where Zombie really intends on presenting the first film-the problem is there is only about forty five minutes left until the end and he wants to show the whole ninety minutes of the original. The entire second half seemed so rushed and hurried, even though there are plenty of throwbacks to the first-Laurie's walk to school with the young Tommy chatting her up on the way, Myers with a sheet over his head with the glasses of the person he just killed on. There is just no tension. Remember in the original there was that certain tension-Laurie was a good girl on her babysitting gig not knowing what was going on. . .the phone rang. . .nobody. . it led up to something. This film has zero tension and zero suspense-we are introduced to Laurie for about ten minutes before the slashing begins, and its just not scary at all.

The biggest change is that this time Myers has a bit of a motive-he is not a random killer after all. I won't ruin the surprise, but I did kind of figure it out once Myers killed his family at the start. I'll admit the motive and the twist wasn't too bad-it gave Myers some kind of a purpose. But then again isn't it scarier to think about a killer with no motive at all? Whose only motive is to kill and kill again? Yes it is.

The acting is bad all around-save for the miracle presence of Dourif and Malcolm McDowell, who plays Loomis. But even McDowell is obviously coasting his way through this. He knows that this isn't a very good film, but he doesn't exactly have the most impressive filmography. But he is still so good. He has this odd presence around him that follows him in every role he does. The unknown young actress and actors cast is almost embarrassing, and unless Zombie enjoyed working with them they won't be in anything else than Rob Zombie films.

The "Halloween" remake is awful-Zombie tries to be faithful and do something of his own, but he can't have it both ways. He tries and fails. This is a painfully hard to watch film-and I should have known better when a movie called Halloween comes out on the 31st of August.

Summer's over, bub.

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