My Super Ex-Girlfriend

My Super Ex-Girlfriend **

"My Super Ex-Girlfriend" had the chance to be a refreshing break from the piles and piles of regular superhero movies that have been coming out lately. It had the chance to be a bitingly funny satire on the subject, but instead it just turned into a formula romantic comedy, with a laugh here and there. And it's a shame really, because it had potential to be a cool and fun way to spend a summer afternoon. But it can easily be skipped for something more entertaining and original(and after some of the movies I've been seeing of late, this one can easily be replaced).

"My Super Ex-Girlfriend" takes place in New York, where there is a hero there for the people to rely on when there is trouble. It's G-Girl, the blonde female superhero who doesn't like to be seen, flies are such a fast speed that nobody ever has time to even see what she looks like. When the film starts, she is in action, trying to stop a couple of bank robbers from getting away. The next day, the story of her heroic fight is on the front page of the newspaper, which nice guy, average New York citizen Matt Saunders, and his womanizing friend Vaughn are reading. They are distracted, however, by the appearence of a beautiful brunette haired woman, minding her business. Matt is convinced to go up to her, and ask her out, which she accepts, after he ends up chasing down a thief who snatches her purse. And they two start an odd relationship, especially since the girl, Jenny Jones, does very strange things. She's always excusing herself to go to the bathroom, when they fool around she ends up crashing the bed through the wall, among many other things. It all becomes clear when she reveals to Matt that she is G-Girl. That when she was in high school, she ended up touching a rock that fell from space and crashed in the forest, and that is how she was blessed with all these powers. Matt is amazed by his luck, until he starts to see the downside to Jenny's personality. She's extremely jealous, and freaks out when is appears that Matt is digging one of his co-workers, Hannah. And that is when he decides to break it off with her, which is when she decides to make his life a total miserable experience.

And after the halfway mark, this movie becomes a total miserable experience. It becomes a trifle too predictable for my taste, and it's quite obvious where the story is going. And usually I don't mind this. If the movie is entertaining, who cares if it becomes predictable? Especially in genres like this. . . but alas, it doesn't do the comedy well enough. It has moments, but the Jenny character gets a little too creepy, and stalkerish. What is so great about Matt that she has to throw a shark through his window to get even with him? Oh, and I forgot the subplot about the evil villian-Professor Bedlam who has history with Jenny. Back in high school, they were the best of friends, until the night that she got her powers, which was when she started to ignore him. And now he wants to get back at her. . . oh great, yet another predictable high school trama story.

And yet, I did give the film a two, which means that it had to have been worth something, at some point. And I guess it does have some laughs, especially during the first half. Rainn Wilson, who is one of the best parts of TV's "The Office" has some funny lines. Luke Wilson is alright doing what he does best, the nice guy act. And Uma Thurman is always fun to look at. I could have lived without Wanda Sykes, who just proved to be a lame and useless character. She's the one that always catches Luke Wilson looking at his co-workers in a way that could be deemed as sexual harrasment. But the actors deserved a better script. Instead of making a romantic comedy, the screenwriters could have focused on a satire, and it could have ended up becoming more fun than it was. "Super" this movie is not. You can find a better way to spend your time.

Little Man

Little Man 1/2*

"Little Man" will be honored by me at the end of the year, as one of the worst movies of that last 365 days. It is absolute garbage, with not one redeeming quality about it, whatsoever. Maybe some eye candy by Brittany Daniels, but that doesn't give any credible credit to any movie, no matter how bad. And the poster proudly proclaims "From the guys who brought you White Chicks." That, my friends, is nothing to really be happy about.

Now, I am all into the theory that sometimes movies have to be watched without looking for any value. Some movies are just made solely for the purpose of entertaining people. I often give bad movies a recommendation, because they are what they intend to be. But "Little Man" doesn't even work as entertainment value. I just can't imagine anyone being entertained by what goes on here. It plot revolves around not a story, but a gimmick. This has the power to be a sketch on a tv show, like "Saturday Night Live." It's such a stupid and horrible idea that it actually could work on that show.

"Little Man" stars Marlon Waynes as Calvin, a short criminal who just got out of jail. There's an extended gag of him coming out of jail after lifting weights, hiw shadow acting as if he's the biggest man in the world, but then, of course, he comes out rather short. This isn't funny, because we know exactly what he looks at based on the advertisments. There's no payoff here, because we know the joke. Anyway, him and his partner Percy have been assigned to steal the queen's diamond, which is residing in a local jewerly store. So, the robbery does not go off without a hitch, and after a high speed police chase, Calvin has to hide the diamond inside a woman's purse. The purse belongs to Vanessa, whose husband Darryl really wants to have a baby. She, however, is too caught up with her job. She doesn't want a baby just yet, and wants to focus on her career. Percy and Calvin overhear this, and Calvin dresses up like a baby, and he leaves himself on their doorstep. Darryl and Vanessa are shocked to see certain things in this baby, like his super strenght, and the fact that he has a tatoo, and a scar from a knife fight. But, they take the baby in for the weekend since the child service office doesn't open again until Monday at 9am. They introduce the "baby" to their friends, and there's another gimmick where Calvin wants to be breastfed by the hot, busty woman, and instead gets the older, scarier lady. Very funny. . . . But Percy is being tagged by the boss of the Italian mafia who wants the diamond, time is running put, yada yada yada.

It's just really bad. All the usual jokes that are expected come out of here. Flatuence especially. The Waynes brothers have a tedency to make all their plots disturbing. Seeing Marlon Waynes as a tiny person, with the aid of horrible special effects, is just plain stupid. And it's just ridiculous that everybody really thinks that he is a baby, when it's quite obvious that he's not. The same problem with "White Chicks." The make-up effects there were just god-awful it didn't help make the movie any more believable. There is a sad attempt at satire at times, but I couldn't exactly tell of what. Was it about marriages, the fact that there is a role reversal? The man wants to settle down and have a baby, but the wife would rather focus on her job, instead of the usual other way around? There was a bit about children's programming, named Dinosaurous Rex(with a Rob Schiender cameo). But nothing consistant, nothingentertaining, nothing funny. One of the year's worst.

Mini's First Time

Mini's First Time ***

Now, this is my kind of movie. The kind of dark, screwed up, tale of sex, murder, mystery, etc etc. Kind of like "Heathers," only made a decade later, and even more dark and creepy. And I loved every minute of it. "Mini's First Time" features characters that are so downright disgusting, that you just love to hate them. It's that type where people always complain that you can't like the movie because you can't either relate to the characters, or find it in your heart to want them to succeed. To those people, I say to lighten up. You don't always have to relate to characters to like a movie. It is alright to just observe them sometimes, without trying to be like them.

Nikki Reed plays Mini, a teenage girl with doesn't really give a damn about school, because it is too monotonous and routine for her. She would rather be out, doing things that are new to her. Her idea of life is that it is a series of "firsts," and in order to have a successful life, people must fill their lives with as many firsts are humanly possible. Her next first, to join an escort service. Her family life doesn't really help her screwed up perspectives. Her mother, Diane, is a drunk, who often tells her daughter that her theighs look fat. There's not much love in this family. On her second job at the escort service, she is assigned to spend a night with Martin(Alec Baldwin), a rich, lawyer who also happens to be her stepfather. Mini automatically says "Why not?" and proceeds to seduce him, to the little of his knowledge. Eventually he finds out, and the two start an affair, which distances Martin from Diane. Eventually, he doesn't want to be in that house anymore, and would rather be with Mini. And that is when she comes up with a brilliant solution. They get rid of her mother. "No, we can't murder her," protests Martin. And Mini says that they don't have to murder her, all they need to do is get rid of her. So, she comes up with ideas to try and get people to think that her dear old mother is insane, and can't be around people anymore. She changes her mother's appointments, by pretending to be her. She books her mother's party planner to plan a party with elephants and monkeys, and everybody does indeed think that Diane is planning these things, even when she protests that she has nothing to do with them. And that's when a simple little plan of insanity turns to murder, which leads to the nosey police officer John Garson, who knows that something is up.

The idea may seem formulaic, but the execution is what matters. All the preformances are on-key, especially Carrie Ann Moss, which still doesn't explain her wooden preformances in the Matrix movies. Between this, and "The Chumscrubber," she really is able to showcase her acting talents. Alec Baldwin looks like he's having a good time here, but he is another one that always is something to watch. I mean, it's not the perfect film, but it's dark and witty enough to entertain just about anyone who appriciates that type of humor. And lastly, Nick Gunte's(who ironically is a first time director) script is full of many twists and turns, even if they may become a bit obvious. But like last years, "The Ice Harvest," the twists may be predictable and obvious, but it's still alot of fun watching them come out. It's not gettign a very wide release, which doesn't really make sense because I feel this one could make a nice buck.

The Oh in Ohio

The OH in Ohio Zero Stars

What a horrible, terrible, dull, unfunny, sex comedy "The Oh in Ohio" turned out to be. In fact, indie queen Parker Posey should be ashamed of herself. Nothing turns out right here, whatsoever. Paul Rudd and Danny Devito couldn't even once make me smile, in a film with such a horrible script, and no wit at all.

Posey plays Priscilla Chase, a young woman with a perfect husband, in a beautiful house, and is climbing up the career ladder very quickly. The only problem is that she has never has a fully satisfying experience in the bedroom. This doesn't make her husband Jack, a high school science teacher(biology to be exact) very happy, and he doesn't even feel very much like a man. He moves out into the garage when things get really bad, and then ends up finding solace in the form of one of his students, Kristen.

That is actually the entire plot, for the first thirty minutes. Then the movie shifts off into strange directions, involving Posey's encounters with hoards of men, Jack leaving her, and then her love story with, gasp, Danny DeVito. That was just strange. Billy Kent's screenplay moves on without rhyme or reason. It's inconsistent, alot happens but nothing with any structure or denseness. Things happen just for the sake of happening. Kent probably realized that he only had an idea for a small sketch on Saturday Night Live, but not for a full-lenght movie. It's just silly, and it's not even entertaining. At times it was downright stupid, and not in a good way. I'll admit, maybe DeVito gave me a smile or too, especially towards the end, but "The Oh in Ohio" really has nothing going for it whatsoever. And about that ending. They make me sit through this entire thing for that!?

Edmond

Edmond ***1/2

I saw two other films on the same day that I saw "Edmond," and throughout both of them, and for hours after them, this film was still on my mind. It's so unique, so strange, so disturbing and haunting that it's hard to get out of your head. William H. Macy gives an award worthy preformance that should be remembered that the Oscars next year, but it won't. It probably will even be forgotten in a few weeks by everyone, but it just isn't right.

He stars as Edmond Burke, who is stuck in a humdrum existence. He goes to work everyday, in the same type of suit, with his briefcase, walking down the same hall. The only thrill that he gets in life is when he presses the elevator button, and inside finds two workers making out inside. On the way home from work one day, he passes a fortune teller's booth, and something makes him walk inside. Inside, the teller gives him a tarot card reading, which ends with "You are not where you belong." After that, Edmond goes home, and tells his wife that she doesn't interest him anymore, spirtually or sexually. This is said while she stands in front of him with a black bra on, done for obvious effect on the viewer. So, he leaves her, and ends up meeting a man in a bar, who gives him a speech about the difference between the white and black race, and how the white men have it hard because they are expected to deal with the pressures of responsiblity. We are foreced into this humdrum existence, but the black race is able to just go as far away from these concepts as possible. The man then tells Edmond that he needs to get laid, and his problems will be solved, so he gives him a card to a strip club. Edmond is then sent into a hellish, nightmare world, a dark and creepy look at city life after dark. Edmond goes to this club, and then learns that sex is expensive. He is not prepared to have to give more than two hundred dollars for a lay, and it ends up with him getting conned, robbed, brused, beaten, and then leading to the moment where he kills a pimp that holds a knife to his neck and demands that Edmond give him his money. And that is the moment where Edmond understands that life shouldn't be about pinstripe suits, and briefcases. It should be about the moment. People live in a "fog," and are constantly in a "dream," and they never just go out and accept reality. And thats when he gets into real trouble, when finally happy, goes home with a waitress named Glenna. After they have their fun, they have a conversation, where Glenna tries to tell him that she is an actress. Edmond doesn't think she is, because she never preforms in front of people. Everything is done in a classroom. She is a waitress, and that is the reality that she must accept. Edmond found his reality, and he wants everyone else to find it to, because it's the only way that we can truely be happy, and thats when everything just goes wrong.

It's hard to continue the plotline, or even start writing about it. I saw "Edmond" not really knowing what it was about. I saw a still from the film, and I love William H. Macy. It's just so haunting watching it unfold in front of you. Things happen up to the very last frame, that I never would have suspected. It's a living hell for Edmond, and watching this night unfold could be unsettling to the eyes and the ears. It's graphic, at times gross, and at times very profane. Macy shines, being virtually in every single scene in the film. And it doesn't only rely on his preformance, but also in the writing of David Mamet, who wrote this film based on his play. I can only imagine the kind of reception the play recieved years ago when it first premiered. "Edmond" needs to be seen. It's the type of film that has scenes which just continue to repeat in your head. It's about finding happiness in the moment, and in who you are. Edmond is right. We do live in such a fog, and such a set pace that sometimes it's hard to really remember who we are, because we are always trying to be what others are.

Time to Leave

Time to Leave ***

"Time to Leave" has a disadvantage, in the fact that it doesn't really have any kind of original story, and its up to the actors to really shine to make this piece of taken material to a special height, and it does exactly that.

Famous French director Francois Ozon, who I'm not reallt familar with save last years "5x2" gives us the story of Romain, a gay photographer living in Paris. He lives with his boyfriend, in such a dull and empty relationship, that when he wakes up in the morning and looks at him, it appears that a dark cloud ends up covering the sun. Him and his family are disconnected. He hardly speaks to his parents, and him and his sister are constantly bickering with one another. When she and her husband are having problems, he doesn't console her, he just makes her feel worse. And she can't seem to accept him being gay, as when the subject of him being able to adopt a kid one days comes into the picture, she just discards it like an old piece of paper. One day, during a photo shoot, Romain faints, and is brought to a hospital. The doctor looks at him, and simply says that he has cancer all over his body. He can take medicine, but there is a less than five percent chance of him living past the next few months. Romain refuses the medicine, because he would rather die that have to live through the pain of losing his hair, and appetite, and will to live. Instead of trying to fix his life, he shuts his family out, and kicks his boyfriend out of the apartment. He goes to visit his grandmother. She is old, and will die soon, and he is young and will die soon. The two spend a romantic evening together, reconnecting, as Romain comes to terms with himself and his life. He also begins to talk to a waitress at a roadside caffee, named Jany, who gives him a very interesting proposition.

"Time to Leave," on the outside, is pretty obvious. We know what will transpire. We know from the plot of a young man dying that he will go through hardships trying to accept the fact that he won't live anymore, and will have to say goodbye to everything and everyone around him. He also has to say g oodbye to himself. Melvil Poupaud brings new heights to such a character as Romain. We care about him, almost as much as the rest of his family, and just worry. Throughout, Romain has to come to terms with his childhood. He's not exactly haunted by the memories, as just looking back with a certain fondness. We see him watch himself a boy urinate into the holy water cup at the church, and then stays as an old lady prays with it. But, it is time to leave that young boy playing a prank, it's time to leave the family, the job, the apartment, the city, the country, this world. And somehow, this massive concept shines through Poupaud's preformance, who only had to make a look and we know exactly what he is feeling. After all, when one has to come to terms with the end of his life, how will he know what is the right thing to do, and what isn't? Is there even a line anymore?

A Scanner Darkly

A Scanner Darkly ****

I'll admit, Richard Linklater isn't my favorite guy in the world. I often find his films, which usually contain rambling monologue and theories from people in their early twenties who believe that they have all the answers, dull and pretentious. Even some of his most wonderful films, for example Before Sunset, was a victim of the Rambling Monologue Syndrome, and after a while enough is enough. After "Slacker" and "Waking Life," he started to go a different route, with the brilliant "School of Rock," and the not so brilliant remake of "Bad News Bears," which was pretty horrible save Billy Bob Thorton. So, given his mixed track record, I approached "A Scanner Darkly" with caution. Sure, the adverts looked promising, but you can never tell with those. In the end, it was one of the strangest, wackiest, hilarious, head trip that I've seen in recent time. And it does have a case of the Rambling Monologue Syndrome, but in this case, it's Robert Downy Jr, trippin' on drugs, done in such a fashion where you hang onto his every word, taking it all in, and at the same time slapping the arm rests.

And I'm making the film sound hilarious, which it is, but at the same time it is a grim and uncompromising look at the future, which is a method seen often in many many films. It takes place seven years from now, in California, where there are only two types of people in the world-those who are addicted and always on a drug known as Substance D, and those who never even bothered touching it. It seems that America has lost the war on drugs, and now those who take it spend their days paranoid, scratching invisible bugs from their bodies, and just slacking off wherever they want to. Those include James Barris, Ernie Luckman, and Charles Freck. Little do they know that the friend that allows them to stay in his house, Bob Arctor, is an undercover narcotics cops. Like his friends, Arctor's mind is constantly melting as a result of the drug. It's also causing problems by creating damage to his brain, as one side of his brain is slacking off, and the other side is working double to try and compensate. At his job he wears a suit all day, which scrambles up images of people continuously. Nobody will ever know who he is, which makes this all the more strange when he is ordered to spy on his friends, and also himself. Everything that we do is recorded in this future, and Bob spends his work hours watching videos of his house, scanning and watching the things that him and his friends did. But like him, not many people can be trusted, especially when Barris ends up squealing to the cops about the actions of Arctor, when he is in fact squealing to Arctor about the bad things that Arctor has done. Arctor begins to question the drug of Substance D, and its effects.

"A Scanner Darkly" does not promote drugs at all. Author Phillip K Dick of the original novel has a message at the end of the film, which is sort of a good bye note to all his friends who have died, or have come close to death as a result of drugs. It's a warning to us. Sure, the films funniest scenes involve the four men paranoid, running around town thinking that people are spying on them, and breaking into their house, but in the end it's also just plain sad. Robert Downy Jr has the best lines, and steals every single scene that he is in, with his half-assed theories, and crazy ideas. Woody Harrelson by his side also makes for a great comedy pair. Keanu Reeves is perfect here, in the fact that he is able to just play the part he always does. In this case, the stale acting, and "Whoa's" actually fit, and make some sense.

"A Scanner Darkly" is animated, but not in the normal fashion. It was shot using a digital camera, using all of the actors, and then every single frame was animated over, giving a very realistic look to the actors. All the principal characters look like the actors that are playing them. It's a surreal look, and one that is hard to get used to at first, but it really does fit this confused, and blurry world that these characters inhabit. "A Scanner Darkly" is haunting, fresh, hilarious, and one of the year's best. It's ending is chilling, and bleak, but there is still a glimmer of hope.

Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man

Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man ****

Wow. "Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man" is one of the best music films that I've ever seen, and that is probably because it's by one of the best musicans of our time. Leonard Cohen has the power to make every song that he writes so beautiful, and poetic, and lyrical. I have yet to hear a Cohen song that hasn't taken my breath away. And all of that is reflected in this great documentary, not about the man 100 percent, but about his music.

In January 2005, a whole group of musicans gathered in Sydney for the "Came So Far For Beauty" show, where they trubuted the great Leonard Cohen. They included Nick Cave, Rufus Wainwright, his sister Martha, The Handsome Family, Jarvis Cocker, Teddy Thompson, and Joan Wasser, who all provide their own rendition of their favorite Cohen song. They include "Hellejueh," "Sisters of Mercy" "Everybody Knows," and of course, "I'm Your Man." Incutted with the songs are interviews with Cohen himself, with only his head taking up the screen, as he provides us with some sort of insight. I want everybody to watch the way that Cohen talks. He chooses his words so carefully, and so precisely, that is is obviously the same voice that is writing the songs. Cohen admits to taking years to write certain songs. He would spend days writing one line of a song, just waiting and hunting around for the perfect rhyme for the lyric. And he does talk slowly. He searches around for the word that he wants to use. He obviously has such a love for words, that he doesn't want to waste any at all. And with the songs that he's written, he hasn't.

It is an absolute joy to watch. The music is captivating, as his whenever Cohen speaks. I was literally in a trance the entire time, just enjoying myself. Hearing his thoughts about himself really stay with you. One line, regarding his reputation as a ladies man,compares the way people talk about him and women, to the fact that he has spent 100,000 nights alone. Some of the visuals were well done also. On occasion, the screen would be covered with red beads, against a black backround, much like in the films poster. It would be accompanied by a slow, whistling-like music, which was great in establishing the calm tone of the interviews, and of Cohen's character. It fits the peaceful moments. My only criticism was that sometimes, director Lian Lunson would make Cohen out to be some sort of godly figure. I could have lived without many of the slow motion shots of Cohen watching the music, or smiling. I also could have lived without the repetition. There would be times where, to the beat of his own music, Cohen would say a line, and Lunson would have it repeated three times before the sentence was finished. It got pretentious, and almost irratating. But regardless of Lunson's full of himself attitude, I'm giving the film a perfect four. It really is a fantastic piece of work, and 100 percent enjoyable. Try not to let Lunson's sick love for Cohen get in the way of two hours of great music, and great interviews. Do not go in if you are:

a) Not a fan of Leonard Cohen. You may love documentaries, but there is Cohen music constantly playing, and if you don't like it, you'll just find it a tedious experience.
b) Expecting to hear him play himself. The film is bookended with a vocal preformance in the beginning, and a full preformance with him and U2 at the end. The rest are covers by musicans who I have both heard of and have not, but everyone of them is pitch perfect. Cohen's beautiful lyrics work no matter who is playing them.

"Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man" is a great music film. I don't know which is better. Hearing the beautiful poetry of Cohen, or hearing the wonderful folk music of "A Prairie Home Companion." This is the music we should be listening to, and not whatever them "youngins" hear nowadays. One of your best bets this summer!

Who Killed the Electric Car?

Who Killed the Electric Car? **1/2

"Who Killed the Electric Car?" is directed by Chris Paine. He is a first time documentarian, and this film shows it. I would also consider renaming it "An Inconvient Truth Companion," as both films really do touch upon the same subject, concerning the environment. Al Gore would love this film.

Al Gore's film was about the dangers of global warming, and the effect that it could have on everyone's daily life. Paine's film is about a way that we can help: electric cars. That is the answer. They are faster, quieter, and they run on electricity as opposed to gas, making them better for the environment. Instead of pulling into gas stations whenever they need fuel, the driver only needs to plug the car in. They go home, plug it in, wake up, unplug it, and go to work. It's that simple, and it doesn't hurt anyone. The car does have it's limitations, but in the end it's a better ride. And that was the kind of car that was made with the invention of the car known as the EV1. And many of them were made, and many of them drove it. The car came about because of a law. In California, the most polluted state in the country, it was declared that the problem is air exhaust. So, a law was made by the California Air Resource Board that requires that 2% of every new vechicle made in the state must be emission free. As time edged closer to 2003, the number would have to jump to 10%. But, manye people had no problem with the car at all. Even celebrities started to endorse it. Tom Hanks talked about the car on the David Letterman show. Interviews with Mel Gibson(who seems like one crazy person as seen from the interviews) show that he enjoyed the car. But then, in the beginning of the new century, the electric cars were taken away. They were all recalled, and they had to be taken off the streets, and brought to gated areas, where they would be crushed, and recycled. And all the power stations that were around California are useless, and just stay there. And how did this happen? Who, or what, killed the electric car?

And thats when the film disappears from the facts, and begins to drift towards the groups that could be responsible. Talking to the consumer, the government, the engineers, and the mechanics, it becomes clear that the death of the electric car wasn't just the work of one person, it involved many. Each group cut the car until the car bled to death. Now, "Who Killed the Electric Car?" again poses the moral question, much like in the Al Gore global warming documentary. We have a responsibilty to help this environment, and without cars that don't only run on gas, there could be a problem. And then the moral issue goes beyond the environment, and onto the fact that American is addicted to oil. No, the WORLD is addicted to oil. The way I see it, electric cars were good for the country, and they weren't harming anyone at all. They are gone because some groups couldn't handle them. They saw them as a threat. There should be no reason why the people that want to drive electric cars can't drive them. But, it's just more examples on why the country is doomed.

Morals and ethics aside, it's important to grade this as a film. As a documentary, it's not the greatest thing in the world. It's very by the book. There is nothing groundbreaking here. It is a cookie cut version of facts, presented to you. Now, it's interesting because some of the facts are things I've never heard before, but at times it could get tedious. I think it could have been more stylish and interesting if they really played out the death of the electric car in a murder mystery fashion. Kind of like a "Whodunit" on the technology. But it's an interesting watch, but maybe not on the big screen. Something like this doesn't need to be seen in a theatre, on the big screen. It is an interesting double feature. Along with "An Inconvienent Truth," these are two films that are really telling us to "Wake up" before it's too late. We have the power to change things, and we are squandering this power around for the promise of money. But over time, they will see, that you can only go so far with money, especially when you have no actual life.

The Road to Guantanamo

The Road to Guantanamo ***

"The Road to Guantanamo" is dank, disturbing, and really makes you think about the way we Americans handle certain things. It could also be one of the most talked about films in years, and full debates could be brought upon by the morals and ethics that it presents, or in this case, lack of.

Part documentary, and part drama, "The Road to Guantanamo" tells the story of four Pakistani friends from England, who in September of 2001 go on a trip to Pakistan for a friend's wedding. On the way there, they end up getting arrested by the United States military, and are accused of having close connections and ties to Al Qaeda. They are innocent. We know this. They are good people. We know this also. They aren't plotting out ways to kill Americans, or praising videos of Osama bin Ladin. No. They like to hang out with one another. They enjoy talking around a table, and eating pizza. And over the course of the next two years, they are imprisoned. They cannot talk to one another. They can't stand up. They are yelled at constantly. They are asked the same questions over and over again, until they are sick of it. And they are tortured. When they refuse to cooperate, they are all placed in solitary confinement, where they are shackled to the ground with chains, and have to face the ground. And then, eventually, over time, it becomes apparant to the government that they are innocent, and they are released, even though they will obviously never be the same.

All of this is told in three ways. The first way is actual interviews with the people that were involved. As they tell their story, it is incutted with a dramatization of the events, with actors taking care of the action. And lastly, there is actual news footage of events that happened at the time. Videos of riots, and news reports, etc. But, no matter which method is going on, "The Road to Guantanamo" is a sad film. Not only in the events that occur within it, but the idea that this stuff actually goes on. It really puts in perspective some of the things that could be going on oversees. There is a clip of President George Bush saying "These folks are Guantanamo are killers. . .. they don't share the same values you and I share," but in this case, these men weren't killers at all. All they wanted to do was celebrate their friends marriage, and they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did fate bring them there? Were they really meant to be in those camps for some divine reason? But that's a whole other debate.

I really have to applaud director Michael Winterbottom. I don't always like his work, but at least he's always trying something different. If it's a sci-fi film, or an experiment with sex and music, or a comedy about classic literature, it's always a different genre. He doesn't stay on one genre, and it is always fresh and exciting when he has something new coming out. I really wonder what's next.

It does have it's flaws, but "The Road to Guantanamo" is an important film. It's something to consider, to watch, to let sink in, and then to talk about. It might be a little partial at times, and biased, but the debate is there, on the outskirts, and the issue could still be talked about. Hell, it should be talked about. What will we do to people in order to protect ourselves?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ***1/2

I'll admit, back in 2003, when "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" came out, I have very low expectations for it. In the end, it was one of the most entertaining action movies ever made, and I even blessed it with a perfect four star rating. And now we have the sequel, the "Empire Strikes Back" of the trilogy. Come to think of it, the poster even kind of looks like it. "Dead Man's Chest" doesn't match the perfection of "The Curse of the Black Pearl," but it's still alot of fun, and 100 percent entertainment. I didn't have the urge to check my watch once. You'd have to be nuts to not have a good time here.

All the central characters from the first are back, with Johnny Depp in his first role reprisal of his career, playing the character that earned him an Oscar nomination, Captain Jack Sparrow. When we last left him, he got his ship back, The Black Pearl, while the British government was after him for all of the crimes that he commited as a pirate. Meanwhile, the two lovebirds Will Turner and Elizibeth Swan ended up together after the perils and dangers of the seas. What we didn't see was that Sparrow was indeed arrested, but Turner and Swan both helped him get out of prison. They also got engaged. Now, on the day of their wedding, they are both arrested for the aid that they had in getting Jack out of jail and back on the seas. The Lord, however, does give Will one chance to be cleared of all his charges. All he needs to do is find Jack Sparrow, and get his compass from him. They don't have to have a sword fight, all he has to do is bargain with him. Turns out that Jack needs the compass for something that he is planning-involving finding a key and a chest that belongs to Davy Jones, the captain of The Flying Dutchman. Jack is in debt to Davy Jones, who made a deal with Sparrow that he would be the captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years, and then he would have to gives Jones his soul. Jack was kicked off the ship after two years of being captain, but time caught up with him. Jones is a half-squid half man, and him and his undead crew is one of the most impressive visual groups I've ever seen on film. And now, Will is off to find Jack, and eventually Elizibeth finds a way out to go look for Will, and she finds Jack, eventually all meeting up for the breathtaking climatic battle on the waters. Bring me that horizon!

The only real problems in the entire film is the beginning. It takes a while for anything to start happen, but when it does, it doesn't let go. I'm a bit easier on films like this, rating wise. "Pirates of the Caribbean" was made for people to have a good time at the movies, and not to be anything groundbreaking or poetic. It's just fun, and you can't go wrong. Depp is perfect as Jack Sparrow, bringing the same charm from the first to this one. The visuals are stunning, and the action sequences and swordfights are alot of fun. I enjoyed how it wasn't a retrend of the first. They only used one or two of the same jokes, and even those made you smile, as you remembered what made they funny in the first place. Seeing the first is a requirement, as many of the characters and situations won't make much sense. And then there's the final twist at the end, which sets up the third installment which comes out next May, and the final twist had me pumped and excited for it. I won't say anything more, but you'll never ever guess it. For fun, excitement, and everything in between, go see "Pirates." You won't regret it at all.

Beowulf & Grendel

Beowulf & Grendel ***

I read the epic poem of "Beowulf" about three years ago, but I read it in the way that most high schoolers read, especially as the year dwindles to a close. I skimmed it, jotted down the important stuff, and then waited for the class conversations. I intend on reading it again in the near future, so I can really get the taste of the story, and not just knowing the flavor. From what I know, "Beowulf & Grendel" is only half of the story of the hero Beowulf. The second half involves him going off to fight a dragon, but this film doesn't touch about that. I guess we'll have to wait for the Hollywood version to come out on 2007. Anyhow, I recall the first half being my favorite part anyway.

"Beowulf & Grendel" begins with the little boy Grendel, and his father, running away from the army of the Danes, led by King Hrothgar. They kill the father, and see the little boy crouching over, by a rock. The little boy gives a dirty look to the King, but just as the King is about to kill the little boy, he retreats, and goes away. The little boy Grendel goes to the bottom of the cliff where his father was thrown off, finds the body, cuts off the head, and takes the head to a cave in the woods, where Grendel lives on his own for years and years. Decades later, he goes off to get revenge on the King that took his father away from him. Sure enough, he begins to attack the towns, killing the strongest men in the village. The King doesn't know what to do, and beings to drink in excess. Luckily for him, Beowulf comes into the picture, who left the town as a young boy. He declares that he will fight the monster that is attacking the town, and get rid of it. Thus beginning one of the best adventure stories in any literature. Beowulf begins to formulate ways to get rid of the monster, and also getting advice from Selma, the beautiful town witch who knows exactly when people are going to die, and how.

Even though I'm giving "Beowulf & Grendel" a three star rating, it is nowhere near perfection. Some of it is a tad corny, and some of the acting over the top, but it's always entertaining, and it's such a great story that everybody will be involved in it-even those who have never even heard or read the story. In the novel, Beowulf has to prove his strenght three times, and save the towns. I already mentioned a dragon, which isn't touched about in the film, and we all know about Grendel. The last is a twist which many won't see coming, but it certainly is creepy, effective, and one of the films best sequences. I enjoyed the films script, which is dark and murky as the novel, but also gives it some comedy. One of the most memorable scenes involved Beowulf talking to Grendel, only always confused by what Grendel is saying, since all of his words involve moaning and muttering and spitting. But the witch Selma understands every last word. I must implore you to go a-hunting for this, since it's only playing in certain places. So what if it's violent and gritty, it's also poetic and at it's core, isn't about violence and adventure. It's about father-son relationships, and those which are like them. Grendel isn't bad, he's just misunderstood. I'm looking forward to how Hollywood takes care of the story. "Beowulf and Grendel" is Islandic, and they handle things differently then us Americans. Also, the new one is animated, only I don't know partially or wholly. Oh well, that's another review for another day.

Heading South

Heading South **

"Heading South" tries to be edgy, controversial, romantic, and political, all at the same time, but the end result is boring, unoriginal, and a waste of time and talent. If it weren't for the satisfactory preformances, this film wouldn't be worth a damn whatsoever.

"Heading South" begins with Brenda, and forty-eight year old divorcee who is going on a vacation is Haiti. She bumps into someone she apparantly knows, an eighteen year old Haitian by the name of Legba. She is enchanted by him, and it is obvious that something has happened to them in the past. However, Legba is called away, and Brenda follows him to the other side of the beach, where she meets Ellen, who is a much older woman, and apparantly Legba's lover. Sure enough, Ellen comes to the island for her entire summer every year, since she gets a long vacation from her teaching job. And sure enough again, Brenda met Legba on the island three years ago, when he was only fifteen, and she threw herself on top of him, and got the very first sexually satisfying experience of her entire time. This is said in a shocking monolouge, documentary style, as Brenda's character talks directly to the camera. The writing then was seriously on key. And so, Brenda starts things up again with Legba, and Ellen gets jealous, and vice versa, and there is constant competition between the two women, until it becomes apparant that they really don't know Legba much at all.

The performances are fine. Charlotte Rampling is a creepy woman, shown here, and in "Lemming" from earlier in the year. Karen Young does her part well, and the psychological battle between the two women over this man is handled by them well. However, the story never seems to go anywhere. It meanders, it's overlong, and uninteresting. After a while, enough was enough. The island scenes were beautifully shot, but it's never exactly said what the ladies find so beautiful about Legba, and this is exactly where a moral kicks in. Not only do the ladies not know Legba, but the viewer doesn't either. Towards the end, Legba does things and sees people that make you second quess everything that you thought you knew about it. And this is a true message. On vacation, we meet people, and talk to people, and can even spend hours with them, but you don't really know them. Legba is Ellen and Brenda's escape from their lives, their gateway into something new and unexpected, but eventually, reality comes shining in, and we must all head up back north again. I swear there were undertones about slavery, but I haven't exactly worked on that all the way through.. If there is, however, it would be highly inappropriate. . .

Wordplay

Wordplay ***

"Wordplay" is an "everyman's documentary." It's funny, light, entertaining, and a real nail biter at times. It has nothing to do with new 9/11 theories, or reasons why George W. Bush should be shot and killed, but it's the kind of documentary that I enjoy, in the vein of "Mad Hot Ballroom." "Wordplay" tells the story of the man behind the crossword puzzles in the New York Times, Will Shortz. He edits them, sometimes tweaks with the clues that other people submit to him, and overall is the person responsible for publishing the puzzles that people call "the motherload." They say that if you can solve the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle, you can solve any crossword puzzle that is thrown at you.

Now, I dabble at the crossword puzzles, but I'm the type of solver who will go through the clues, and then write in what I know, and try to branch off from there. I hardly ever finish the puzzle, but I have a good time starting it. These people go quicker than quick. Some of them will solve entire puzzles in under two minutes. And thats when this documentary starts to find it's subject, greater than the one about the editor. It's about Will Shortz' tournement that he holds every year in a hotel in Stamford, for the last 28 years. All these people gather around the hotel for forty-eight straight hours of puzzle solving. Everybody is friends with one another. They have known each other for years, and usually only see each other once a year. Everybody solves seven puzzles, and then the three contestants with the highest scores goes on to the final round, where they solve one final puzzle on a big board, in front of the other contestants. They wear headsets, so that they can't hear any of the commentary and other noise that is going on.

It may not sound like the most interesting thing in the world, but watching these people solve these puzzles is fascinating. It's amazing how fast they go. Towards the end, it even becomes a nail-biter, because the viewer kind of begins to root for a certain person to win. The final round is intense, and even has a disappointing twist in the middle of it, which I won't go and reveal. It takes all the fun out of it.

Like I said, the latter half is related to the tournment, but the first half is relataed to how the puzzle designers go about their business. You get to see exactly how the creators go about making the puzzles, and it really is hard work. I don't think I could have the patience for the things they do. There are even interviews with various celebrities, including Bill Clinton, Mike Mussina, Jon Stewart(who is painfully unfunny as usual,) and Bob Dole. Thinking back, there was a genius puzzle in the NY Times on election day 1996, as the movie shows, where the clue 39 Across and 43 Across went hand in hand. The clue was "The lead story in the newspaper tomorrow." 43 Across' answer is "Elected," and 39 Across has seven letters, so the hidden message appears to be "Clinton Elected." But when looked at, it could also be "BobDole Elected." The creator of that amazing puzzle found words to make it so that both ways worked! I was in awe at how it's done, and watching these minds at work is very inspiring, and always entertaining. It's certainly a great documentary, especially for people that aren't exactly big on the genre. It's alot of fun.

Nacho Libre

Nacho Libre **1/2

I found "Napoleon Dynamite" to be absolutely excellent, and one of the best comedies in recent years. But, director Jared Hess' second effort "Nacho Libre" had much to be desired. Instead of the laugh-a-minute comedy of "ND", "Nacho Libre" gave me the occasional laugh out loud moment, and much more chuckles and grins. It was entertaining in an odd way, but after a while it just became tiresome. I poked my head in a few times in the middle over the last two weeks, finding scenes every now and then more funnier than seeing the entire film at once, with the scenes in context.

Jack Black is always funny, and he is here, as Ignacio, a frair at a monastery. He is the cook for the orphans, only the head guys don't ever give him any fresh ingredients to cook breakfast with. So, instead of giving them a fresh salad, he gives them mucky stew with day old chips. However, Ignacio does have one passion-to be a lucha libre wrestler, just like one of his heros. So, with the help of Steven, a drifter of the village who tries to steal food from the trash, Ignacio dons stretchy pants, and becomes Nacho. He loses every fight he’s in, and yet he always gets paid for it. He uses the money from the lost fights to buy the orphans fresh food every morning, which impresses the beautiful nun who Ignacio has his eyes on. The only problem is, all of his opponents try to take off his mask, and if the monastery finds out that he is wrestling(a practice that is declared evil) they will kick him out. So, careful not to be found out, Nacho goes off to try and win a fight, and get the children some sort of bus so that they can go on field trips to parks, and places like that.

The laughs are there, and with the comedic talent here, "Nacho Libre" could have been gold-much better than what it turned out to be. Danny Elfman’s musical score does add to comedy, as well as Hess’ flair for direction. He has a way of positioning the camera so that it catches the characters at such an angle that makes it funnier than some of the dialogue. There is a pace that the film has. At times, some of the conversations could be awkward, and not at all realistic to how we actually speak. There are sometimes three second pauses in between lines, and Black’s horrible(yet that’s the point) Mexican accent doesn’t help much. I guess it’s not that I didn’t like "Nacho Libre," I was just. . . disappointed. It’s entertaining, but I don’t think I can recommend it. Maybe a rainy day out on video, but I don’t know about the theatre. I can’t recommend it, but I won’t stop you from seeing it.

The Devil Wears Prada

The Devil Wears Prada **

"The Devil Wears Prada" is not funny enough to be a comedy, but it’s also not witty enough to be a satire. It’s stuck in the middle, and I ended up seeing something that was less than mediocre. I guess it is trying to be a satire of the fashion industry, and what people will do to get to certain heights, but it could have said that without such a shoddy script, and a supporting cast that you could just cry about.

Anne Hathaway is fine as Andie Sacks, who wants to be a journalist, and ends up getting a job as a secretary for the most powerful woman in fashion, Miranda. . . something I forget the last name. She’s the main editor of Runway Magazine, one of the top fashion magazines around. She’s picked as the secretary, but is nothing like the other girls. She’s not fat to me, but to the other workers she’s a cow. She doesn’t dress in stylish and sleek black dresses like the others, but wears brown shirts and solid color sweaters. And she doesn’t like the high heels either. The problem is Miranda is cold hearted. She likes things to be her way, and very organized. She gets angry if her breakfast isn’t on her desk the second she wants it, and she pretty much likes it when her staff is already one step ahead of her. And she’s also calling Andie every single second of the day. And if thats not enough for her to worry about, there’s Emily, the first assistant who treats Andie almost as harsh as Miranda does. If it’s not about her clothes, its about the way she does the work, and if its not about the way she does the work it’s about how great Miranda is, and how meek and small Andie is. But slowly, Andie begins to change. First it’s the clothes. She starts to dress like them. And then it’s her hours. Her schedule soon revolves around what Miranda needs to have done, which of course has to tick off her friends-not only the "lovable boyfriend with the heart of gold," but also the token female, and the cliche gay guy who likes how his friend has a job working with fashion more than the female.

There’s really nothing more to say. The plot is nothing, really. It’s hopelessly stuck in clicheworld, and at some times it’s not even entertaining. After a while it becomes tiresome, and if I didn’t leave my cell phone at home I would’ve checked the time a couple of times. Hathaway is good here, and Meryl Streep is pitch perfect. Even Stanley Tucci is fine, but the supporting work-especially Hathaway’s friends-was just godawful. And that music. Ahhh. . . make it stop. It could have been better. . . it should have been better. I wish I knew more about Miranda, because than Streep would have been on the screen more, and that’s one of the many things that the movie needed. I’ve seen some good satire in 2006, "Thank You For Smoking" and "American Dreamz" come to mind, but this is not one of them. These performances deserve better. . .

The Motel

The Motel ***1/2

"The Motel" is a sad story, mostly because it will be unseen by pretty much everybody under the sun, except those select few that decide to see it over some of the big blockbusters out there. It pains me sometimes to know that films like "When a Stranger Calls" and "Firewall" get green lit, but a perfectly nice story like "The Motel" has to take ages to be made, and then patiently wait for a distributor. It’s sad, really, because "The Motel" should be seen by everyone. It’s a little masterpiece, with an amazing performance by young Jeffrey Chyau.

Chyau plays Ernest, a young Chinese boy living in a motel run by his mother and his grandfather. Ernest is going through puberty, and is starting to become aware of the world around him. He sits on the trash cans of a Chinese restaurant everyday and talks with the waitress there, who he has a massive crush on, and when he’s not doing that or in school doing homework, he’s torturing his little sister by taking her doll, or cleaning up the rooms in the motel after guests leave. He focuses on his work and gets it done, even when the area bully is around following him. Ernest gets into a bit of trouble when his mother finds out that he entered a writing contest, and he won honorable mention. While Ernest is happy about that, his mother tells him that honorable mention is the worst place to be, because it says that he wasn’t good enough to win, and he wasn’t even good enough to loose, either. Therefore, she denies him the chance to go to the fancy award dinner in the winner’s honor, unless he shows her the story that he won for. And then, Ernest meets Sam, the guest in Room 15 whose credit card was declined. Sam gives Ernest his watch as collateral until he gets t he money to pay for the room. Sam is depressed, and when he’s not drinking or having sex with a prostitute, he hangs out with Ernest. He plays baseball with him, throws chicken bones into the parking lot, and teaches him how to drive. But Sam isn’t happy with his life, but then again neither is Ernest.

"The Motel" is a sweet 76 minutes, and almost perfect the entire way. It has the budget the size of my paycheck, but it’s heart is in it all the way. It’s funny, sad, and hopeful. What Ernest goes through with his family is not uncommon in Asian culture, where success is stressed highly. It is a coming of age story, not just with family, but with relationships, and not just Ernest and other girls his age. At the core, "The Motel" is about father-son relationships. Ernest doesn’t have a father figure. Sam is coming out of a crumbling marriage, and never had a son figure. They learn from each other, even though things don’t work out perfectly. By the end, Ernest learns a lot about family, women, and just life itself. Things don’t always work out. Life is like a motel. . . things come in and things come out, and it happens again and again and again, until we go out of business.

Strangers with Candy

Strangers with Candy ***1/2

I loved "Strangers with Candy" beyond all reckoning, and it came at a perfect time too, because I was in a bitter mood when I sat down, and I left with the biggest grin on my face. Not a grin to look at the wonders of life, such as the grin I had when I left "A Prairie Home Companion," but the kind of grin that you have when you just saw something so damn funny you can’t stop thinking about it. It’s based on a television show, and the beauty is that I’ve never even seen the show to compare. It works on its own, and it’s much better than Comedy Centrals last television movie, "Jiminy Glick is La La Wood, which I do sometimes stick up for.

"Strangers with Candy" stars Amy Sederis as Jerri Blanc, a forty something year old ex-stripper/junkie, who just got out of prison after 37 years. She goes back to her home to learn that her mother has died, and her father remarried and they had a son. However, her father slipped into a coma as a result of the sadness and misfortune that fell upon the family. When Jerri comes back and gives her comatose father a hug, he moves slightly, giving the doctor hope that he can get out of it. The doctor tells Jerri that she should try and remind her sleeping father of the happiness that they once had. She comes up with the idea of picking up her life where it left off, and she makes the return to high school. She’s automatically cast out by the popular girls, but makes friends with the Indonesian student and the cute nerdish girl. However, the school is having a bit of trouble. Principal Blackman(who is actually a black man) needs to prove to the school board(with a cameo by Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Allison Janney) that the students in the school are exceptional, and that the school deserves to get more funding. The opportunity to help the school comes in the form of the science fair. Principal Blackman hires a nine time science fair winner(and cameo by Matthew Broderick) to help win the fair. When he hires Jeffery, the school’s art teacher, to be his right hand man, it doesn’t sit well with the science teacher, who just broke off his affair with him. So, the science teacher organizes his own group of students to win the science fair, with consists of Jerri and her two best friends. And they form a group called the Fig Neutrons, and set out to win the science fair, so Jerri’s dad can come out of her coma.

Sure, it’s silly, but it’s a lot of fun, and some parts really were genius. And it most certainly has a hell of a lot of lines that could be quoted anytime. It’s good to see on the big screen, because the directors pay very careful attention of small detail. There could be a sign or a poster in the back that is funnier than whatever the characters are talking about. One thing I loved was that there were photos of Principal Blackman all over the school. I think at one point there was a statue of him on a file cabinet. Steven Colbert is here as the science teachers, and while I don’t normally find him funny, his persona was classic. He’s much better here than he was in "The Great New Wonderful," that’s for sure. I have to recommend "Strangers with Candy" because it really is a fine comedy. I know that some might be shocked at the high rating. . . hell, I almost gave it four stars, but it’s really funny and really smart. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and you shouldn’t either.

The Great New Wonderful

The Great New Wonderful **1/2

"The Great New Wonderful" is another one of those "interconnected character" movies. You have a whole bunch of various stories, usually taken place in a big city, and at some point all of them intertwine. Robert Altman has one about death, a few of them actually, Paul Haggis has his about racism, and Paul Thomas Anderson has his about the porn industry. And now, from the director of "Dude, Where’s My Car," comes the one about 9/11. It’s a different sort of 9/11 film. It’s not "United 93" or what the upcoming "World Trade Center" promises. It’s a little lighter, and a little more hopeful. While those are about what happened during the attack, this is about the reactions to it, taking place in a single week in September of 2002, right before the one year anniversary of the event.

There’s the usual array of characters. My favorite involved Jim Gaffigan and Tony Shaloub and their patient/psychiatrist dialogues. Shaloub was hired to go around Gaffigan’s office building, and talk to some of the workers about their relationships with three of the other workers who died on that day. Shaloub constantly asks him if he’s nervous, and then in their quirky talks, they try and get to the root of Gaffigan’s problem, if he does have any. There was on rather strange one with Judy Greer as the mother of Charlie, who fights with kids at school, lights toy soldiers on fire, and has a book under his bed with diagrams about how to skin and trap an animal. There was one with Olympia Dukakis, whose husband doesn’t seem to want to do anything anymore. Their nights consist of her making him dinner, setting it up on a small fold out table in front of the television, and then cleaning up after him, and then continuing work on some kind of project that she’s doing. She has hope when she meets an old school friend of her’s from years and years ago. There was one with two security guards who guard an Indian General, and when they are on duty they talk about girls behinds, and Laurence Fishburne. And lastly, there was my least favorite, about a woman who makes and sells cakes, and is trying to land the job of a lifetime. I just couldn’t find anything interesting in that at all.

One odd thing is the casting. Jim Gaffigan is good here, but I found it strange that the makers chose him. I’m assuming that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was unavailable, because that seemed like the role that he would have done. I guess he had too much press to do for "Capote." Steven Colbert also made an appearance as a school principal, and even he popped out of nowhere. All performances were top notch here, and that’s the best thing about the entire film. There are some really fine actors here.

I don’t exactly know what the problem with "The Great New Wonderful" was, but it just didn’t sit well with me. It had an alright script, I suppose, but it doesn’t offer anything new to the table. The final line, "I think I’m lost," has much meaning to all of the stories, but after 9/11 a lot of people were lost. I felt that the writer felt he was saying something new and groundbreaking, but didn’t at all. "The Great New Wonderful" isn’t powerful, and it certainly isn’t funny at all. And another thing, it couldn’t make up it’s mind about what it wanted to be. A strong drama, or a light comedy. I did laugh once, when a character from each story ended up all standing in an elevator at one point. I laughed because that was the lamest way to connect them all, aside from the overall theme. Sure, P.T. Anderson made frogs fall from the sky to connect his characters, but it wasn’t silly. It was genius. "The Great New Wonderful" tries to be genius, but falls a mile.

Superman Returns

Superman Returns ****

"Superman Returns" is the best Superman movie made, and not just because of the update in special effects. The problem with the first movies were that they never allowed for any surprises. It was very obvious. Superman is super, the villains have their evil plot, but they end up being destroyed by the amazing powers that Superman has. And in the end, the bad guys end up vowing to destroy the one that hate. . .blah blah blah. In "Superman Returns," there were times where I actually didn’t know if Superman would be alright, and if for the first time Lex Luthor would prevail. Also, having a perfect balance of action, drama, comedy, and romance, it ends up being the best blockbuster to come out this summer thus far.

Superman fans knows the drill. Superman, whose real name is Kal-El, is from the planet Krypton, which was destroyed many years ago. His father, Jor-El, sent him to the planet Earth to live as a human. As a child, he is raised by a farmer and his wife, and they know that he is different. After all, he’s never sick or injured and he can run faster than a "speeding bullet." And when he gets older, he finds a glowing crystal in the barn which he takes to the cold arctic, throws, and ends up building his fortress, where he can learn the secrets of Krypton. He goes to the city of Metropolis, and takes on the alter-ego of Clark Kent, a newspaper reporter. He also falls in love with Lois Lane, and makes friends with photography Jimmy Olson. When needed, and people are in danger, he becomes SUPERMAN! And there is also the villain Lex Luthor, whose plans of real estate swindles are always foiled by Superman. That’s the back story.

"Superman Returns" takes place after the events of the second movie, which makes sense because the third and fourth were extremely horrible. Any movie with Richard Pryor working for the bad guy, and one where Superman declares war on nuclear arms can’t have any credibility. Superman goes back in space for five years after astronomers claim that they found remnants of the planet Krypton. The world goes on without him, leading people to think that maybe they don’t need a Superman to survive. He comes back to his Earth mother, Martha, who is so happy to have her son back. She was scared that she would never see him again. Clark decides to go back to Metropolis, and pick up where he left off. He gets a warm reception from Jimmy Olson, and manages to get his job back, but the one person that he cares most about, Lois Lane, has decided that Superman is not needed. Of course, since Clark Kent is really a fake person, and Superman is his real self, he is not happy about that at all. Lois has really changed in the last five years. Not only did she get an award for an article she wrote called "Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman," but she also is getting married, and has a young son. But, Superman is back, and Lois is in shock by the entire thing. And then there is Lex, who got out of prison. Superman was supposed to testify at his trial, but since he was in space, Lex got due process of the law, and was released from jail. He has a plan again, and this involves heisting the crystals that Superman uses in his fortress, and using them to form his own island, make of Kryptonite, radioactive pieces of Superman’s home planet which are deadly to him, and the only thing that can kill him.

"Superman Returns" does the usual thing with these new super hero movie. Cast an unknown as the lead, and then fill the supporting boots with some of the most famous people they can think of. We got Kevin Spacey as Lex, who is more evil and dastardly than Gene Hackman was, even though he was great too. Kate Bosworth who has managed to form a small web of success from "Beyond the Sea," as Lois Lane, and also Frank Langella as the big boss at the Daily Planet, the newspaper Clark works for. The new Superman is also very well cast, and at times Brandon Rourth is even better than Christopher Reeve was. All in all, "Superman Returns" is a fantastic time at the movies. It’s a big budget, action packed thrill ride that we haven’t had the pleasure of watching since "King Kong," and that was half a year ago already. It sets the stage for another sequel. Thankfully, the summer finally kicks off.

The best part, lastly, is that Bryan Singer gives the new Superman movie the same feel as the older ones. This includes a similar title sequence, and also using the pivotal music from the originals. It’s a perfect homage.

The Hidden Blade

The Hidden Blade ***1/2

"The Hidden Blade" is the closest thing to the samurai masterpieces "Seven Samurai" and "Rashomon" that you’ll find in this millennium. It’s stunning, with great performances, a nearly perfect script, with the best fight sequences I’ve seen in a long time. At times, you can just ignore the story, and let the amazing visuals wash over you. I wanted to be inside this world, and afterwards, I was brought back to reality, on a grim and dreary day in June. There were times where I couldn’t even believe that there was a movie crew around the actors. It was as if it were actually happening.

We have a rather simple story. There is the Sir, who has a peaceful existence with his friends and family. The audience can tell that he has his eye on the maid, who is being trained by his mother. She ends up leaving the family, and ends up getting married. Sir says that once she left, the light in his life and existence went out. He does see her again, three years later, and he claims that she is unhappy, no matter what she says. She ends up getting sick, and Sir ends up seeing exactly what kind of way she is treated by her "loving" family. They are the kind of people who leave her in the coldest room in the house when she is suffering from a massive illness. Sir takes her out of the house, and demands her husband that he divorce her. The two end up living together. He takes care of her until she is well, and then when that day comes, she ends up taking care of him. He loves her, but doesn’t admit it. She loves him, and doesn’t admit it. That’s the love portion. And then there is the historical portion. The times are changing, and so is the way of the samurai. There are people who believe that instead of fighting with swords and spears, the samurai should take advantage of the new technology, and fight using guns and cannons. The samurai are not happy with this development, and the elders remember the virtue that the samurai should hold dear to them. And then there is the action portion. Sir is recruited to go out and capture his escaped prisoner friend, who is a wanted criminal. His friend vows that he will kill whoever is sent to go after him, and then he will kill himself, using an ancient samurai technique which will allow him to maintain his dignity.

All three of the portions happen slowly. It’s a film with it’s own pace, that one has to get used too. It works as a romance, as a history lesson, and as action. It even has it’s own dark humor. It’s not perfect, but it comes very close to the samurai classics of Kirusowa, the master of the genre. I must again applaud the cinematography, which truly shows the green of the forest, the white of the snow, and the dense of the fog, all perfectly pertaining to the story. The final shot will leave a smile to all faces. It’s the perfect example of what Xavier and Wendy from "Russian Dolls" should not do in their TV movie script. It is word for word of a fight that two characters had in the beginning, but with different tones of voice it leaves a different feeling. It’s amazing how the same conversation, word for word, could leave different feelings just by the way it’s said. Seeing things like "The Last Samurai," which I did enjoy, pales in comparison to the real deal. It may not be a masterpiece, but "The Hidden Blade" is indeed the real deal.

Russian Dolls

Russian Dolls ***

"Russian Dolls" is a pleasant little French comedy, and a slightly better follow up to "L’Auberge espagnole," which was another pleasant little French comedy. But, now we get to find out what happens to these characters five years later. Five years earlier, they were all living together in an apartment in Spain, and now they have careers, and lives of there own. Once again, we follow Xavier, who is now a down on his luck writer, who goes from company to company trying to find a steady job, while at the same time trying to sell his novel, which is based on his experiences five years ago in said Spanish apartment. He BS’s his way through interviews, always "putting on a show" for the employer. He is also a womanizer, and doesn’t have any problem with bedding a woman one night, and then never calling them back. He’s an alright guy, though, and even watches his ex-girlfriends baby when she goes off to another country unannounced. Eventually, he gets a job writing the script for a television movie that is going to air during the holidays. It’s a cliche story-how two people end up becoming lovers, and he is told not to be scared of doing anything over the top. For example, lines like "I love you. . . I’ve always loved you. . ." The only problem is that the show will air on the BBC, and the script has to be written in English. So, Xavier travels to London to work on the script with an old friend from the apartment, Wendy. Wendy just broke up with her boyfriend, and when Xavier moves in, she is in the process of kicking him out of her place, and getting her key back. The two catch up, and over time, as they write this sappy love fest, they begin to feel attracted to one another. It’s all fine and dandy until he gets a second job, being the ghost writer for a twenty something year old model who wants to write her memoirs. Not having the ability to settle down with one person, a sort of triangle starts, but not your typical cliche love story triangle. Xavier needs to change his way, and go from a triangle to a straight line.

I would say that it is important to watch the first before seeing "Russian Dolls." Sure, this is a standalone story, but to appreciate the characters, and their relationships with one another, take the two hours and watch "L’Auberge espagnole." Together, the films are a lot of fun, and very good cultural pieces. One of the best things about "L’Auberge espagnole" was that it took place in a few different countries, with main characters of all different origins. It made you want to travel and see these places that they talk about. "Russian Dolls" has that same quality, but it also does a perfect job at following up the characters. "L’Auberge espagnole did not need a sequel, and it didn’t really have any loose ends to tie up, but "Russian Dolls" ends up being a welcome addition. It’s sweet, silly, and very enjoyable. I could watch a second follow up in five years, and I hope I will.

Click

Click ***

"Click" is the result when you take the usual crude humor of Adam Sandler, with the valuable life lessons of "It's a Wonderful Life," and "A Christmas Carol." However, the latter ends up overriding the former, and "Click" turns out to be the warmest, kindest, and ultimately most depressing Sandler film of all time. This is no "Anger Management" where the biggest laughs involve stealing a cane from a blind man. First off, Sandler's character has a family. . . and children. . . whoa. I'm guessing that it's suppose to parallel his own life, where in the last year or so he ended up taking a plunge and getting hitched. I guess it's alright that he's finally "growing up."

Here, Sandler plays Mike Newman, a workaholic family man whose busy schedule and promise of becoming a partner at his company never allows him to see his family. This annoys his wife Donna, and his son and daughter. He does, then, promise them that they will go for a camping trip in the woods for the Forth of July weekend, but his horrible boss ends up putting him on a massive assignment which will consume the entire vacation. So, he rainchecks the trip, and begins his work. When he can't find the remote control to put the television on, he decides to go out and get a universal remote just like the rival neighbors the O'Doyle's have. But, nothing is open in the middle of the night, except for Bed, Bath and Beyond. Inside, Mike finds a door marked "Beyond" and inside he finds Morty, an eccentric professor who gives Mike a universal clicker, under one condition: that the remote control can never be returned. So, Mike goes home, and begins to find out that the remote doesn't only control his television, it controls his entire life. He can pause, fast forward, rewind, everything around him. He can revisit any moment in his past that he wants. He can fast forward through arguments, mute the dog in the middle of the night, and even jump ahead to his promotion. However, eventually he starts to fast forward so much that the remote ends up setting itself to his preferences. Whenever an argument starts, it'll jump ahead, and whenever the sparks of a new promotion arises, it'll jump ahead. Eventually, he starts to miss things, and his life constantly changes, and he can't return the item to stop it.

"Click" has a strong comedy first hour, and then it delves into heavy drama. It teaches an important life lesson: that family comes first, and we can't fast forward through life. It's important to stop and smell the roses from time to time. Sandler is his usually witty self. I still don't mind him or his movies, they are fun to watch once a year. Kate Beckinsale is her usual stunning self as well, and David Hasselhoff is the perfect candidate as Mike's pain in the ass boss. He isn't a great actor, hell he's not even a very good one, and it's nice to see him make fun of himself. And as usual, Christopher Walken can pretty much do anything. "Click" will make you laugh, and maybe even shed a few tears. You’ll see. The idea that an Adam Sandler movie can make your eyes wet seems impossible, but "Click" changes that. But it still doesn't stop Sandler from cutting one in Hasselhoff's face. I guess some things never change. . .